6 Last Minute Valentine’s Day Date Ideas That Don’t Suck

We promise there are no candle-lit picnics on this list.


Congratulations! You have a date for Valentine’s Day this year! You’ve managed to break free of the soul-crushing cycle wherein corporate America annually shames single people for not having a Hallmark sweetheart. Give yourself a pat on the back, tiger. But it’s almost February 14th and you were so caught up with actually having a date, you forgot to plan it. Don’t you worry. We got your back.

If you Google “last minute date ideas,” you’re going to see the same shitty things over and over again—but you’re better than that. Which is why we came up with our own list of last minute Valentine’s Day date ideas that don’t suck. Prepare to have the best Valentine’s Day you’ve ever had.

Netflix and chill 2.0
I know, I know — you’ve heard ‘Netflix and chill’ so many times that it’s become a joke, and nobody takes it seriously anymore. But it’s an amazing last minute date idea when you deconstruct it down to its essentials. You’re cuddled up on the couch with your lady, you’re watching a nice movie, your junk is pressed up against her butt, and you didn’t need to leave your house.

But by itself it’s much too simple of a gesture. Step it up a notch by buying her a bouquet of flowers before meeting up, arrange for some dinner, then dim the lights and add some wine to the equation, and voila. Bonus: the “chill” portion of the evening can occur right there on the couch.

Go bar hopping.
Put together a list of every local watering hole that means something significant to you as a couple. From the bar where you first met, to the spot where she was kind enough “not to notice” that you threw up a little on your shirt, tell her you want to grab a drink at each one and make a toast. Plus, the more drinks you have in you, the hornier you get, because that’s just how biology works.

Get in your car and go on an adventure.
You forgot to make reservations for that fancy dinner, and staying at home is getting old…so just get in the car, put your foot to the pedal, and don’t look back. Make a playlist of both of your favorite songs to jam out to, stop at a restaurant that catches your eye, and just see where the road takes you. Maybe you’ll end up in the back of a parking lot hooking up for hours, or perhaps you’ll find a delicious bakery an hour from home that’ll become your new favorite date spot. Hey, you might even end up at a hotel, which brings us to….

Hotel sex.
We already know that hotel sex is the best sex. There’s a big comfy bed, the sheets are fresh and crisp, you can order room service, you know you won’t be disturbed, and you just flat-out feel fancy. If that’s not enough to put you and bae in the mood, I don’t know what is. 

To make things extra special, get a bottle of luxurious massage oil before checking in, and give your lovely lady a sensual massage to really get her in the mood. Pop open a bottle or two of wine, put on some sexy music, and enjoy your mini Valentine’s Day getaway.

Bottomless brunch.
Lucky for you, V-Day is on a Sunday this year. No, unlimited mimosas aren’t just for flocks of hungover girls trying to recover from a crazy night out. Bottomless brunch is one of the most significant developments in human society since the advent of the wheel, and you should definitely take advantage of it this Valentine’s Day.

Given the popularly of Sunday brunch, if your last-minute res doesn’t pan out, having a homemade bottomless brunch might even be better than going out for it. Just grab a couple bottles of champagne, OJ, whip up some eggs or waffles, set the table nicely, and there you go. Bottomless brunch. Plus, when you’re ready for your midday mimosa nap (or midday mimosa sex), your bed is right there.

Give her a gift you can enjoy together.
If you’re planning on buying her something “a little more comfortable” to slip into, dear god, check her sizes from her unmentionables you find laying around first. Then, listen to what supermodel and Maxim cover star Elsa Hosk has to say about buying your lady lingerie. This one is a risk, since it’s hard to guess at someone’s personal style. The upshot is, if she knows you picked it, she might feel confident knowing it’s exactly what’s bound to turn you on. Lay out your offering on the bed, and tell her you can’t wait to see how incredible she’ll look. 

The best part is, you can run to the store day-of if you’ve made it that far without planning something else. We love the look of Victoria’s Secret and Triumph, if you needed some hints.

Get out there and enjoy your fabricated, corporate holiday that forces us to prove our affection through empty gestures!