How to Maintain a No Strings Attached Romance
Your six-step guide.
I think we can all agree that sex is universally good thing. That should be reason enough why having a no strings attached relationship is basically the best of both words. All the hot, readily available sex of a relationship, sans pretending you care about going to their friend’s sister’s cousin’s engagement party? Where do we sign?
Even science has proved people in casual hook ups are just as happy as the ones that shack up. But preserving your fuck-buddy as just that can be tricky, so having a strategy to keep your no strings attached romance on the casual end of the spectrum is a must. If you’ve decided you’re not looking for a long term partner, and you found someone who feels the same, here’s your ultimate guide.
Make it clear that what you’re having is only sex.
Establish that you both want the same thing, otherwise it’ll just be awkward and uncomfortable. Experts have written at length about the potential pitfalls of different sexpectations. If she wants a relationship while you’re only interested in something physical, it won’t work out.
Don’t hang out together.
The more time you spend together, the more likely you are to get attached and develop feelings, and that’s not what a no strings attached romance is about, is it? Of course not.
Having dinner and drinks together and sleeping over is boyfriend/girlfriend stuff, which is exactly what you want to stay away from. You can’t argue with psychology: the Proximity theory of attraction proves spending time close together can help spark romantic feelings. What you want is to get together a few times a month and just bang it out. Smash and dash, nothing else.
Carefree sex is fun, STIs and surprise babies are not, especially in a no strings attached relationship. Considering this is probably not a monogamous situation, remember these four sexual health tips.
Skip the cuddling.
Skin-on-skin contact releases a healthy dose of oxytocin, which is the hormone responsible for feelings of closeness and bonding. And you probably don’t want closeness and bonding with your sex buddy. To maintain all the casual goodness of your fauxmance, skip the pillow talk right after sex.
Leave the ex out of your casual sex.
Take it from me — a no strings attached romance with someone you had an actual romance with is a bad idea. It totally defeats the purpose of a casual relationship, because there will be emotions. Even if the sex was amazing, they’re an ex for a reason. Please revisit this helpful flowchart for further guidance.
Know when to end things.
If you find yourself constantly jealous that she might be sleeping with other people, you may want to reevaluate the situation, a.k.a. end it, because you’re not actually dating.
No strings attached relationships have to end at some point, but the beauty of it is that you don’t have to worry about hurting her feelings—and vice versa, you both signed up for the same thing. It doesn’t matter if you end it over text or write her a love song commemorating the sex of bygone days: just say goodbye however way and move on.