A 43 Year-old Guy With a Bionic Penis Will Finally Lose His Virginity

…to a dominatrix

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Mohammed Abad from Edinburgh, a.k.a. the dude with a bionic penis, will finally lose his virginity to “award winning” dominatrix, Charlotte Rose, above, who once ran for Parliament (unsuccessfully). The 43 year-old virgin will take Rose out to a romantic dinner in London, and then put his 8-inch robo-dick to good use.

Brace yourselves — when he was just six years old, Abad’s penis literally ripped off when he was run over by a car and dragged 600 ft. I bet your crotch hurts just thinking about that. In 2012, he was fitted with a bionic penis that can give him an instant boner at the push of a button, like a sexual Transformer. His robotic member has two tubes that inflate within seconds when he presses a button on his testicle, which means he never has to worry about whiskey dick.

Abad was previously married, but his bride didn’t know about his penis situation until their wedding night. His obviously kind and thoughtful ex-wife left him after being unable to handle waiting for Mohammed’s penis to heal from surgery and start working.

Rose, who charges €200 an hour, offered to take Abad’s now fully-functional penis for a spin for free after hearing about his predicament. She won the British Erotic Award for Sex Worker of the Year in 2013, so he is clearly in good hands. Man, what a way to lose your virginity.

 “I am so honoured that he chose me to take his virginity,” Rose told reporters. “We plan to have a dinner date so we can get to know each other and then two hours of private time. I’m not charging him.” 

Now that his dick is ready to party, Abad is beyond eager to swipe his v-card. On This Morning he says, “My penis is working perfectly now so I just want to do it. I have waited long enough for this — it’ll be a great start to the new year.”

“Hopefully he can then find a lovely lady to settle down with,” Rose said of Abad, who hopes to become a father one day. “I’m happy to help him build up confidence.”

“I’m really excited,” he said. “I can’t wait for it to finally happen.”

Good luck, Mohammed, and have fun. 

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