Martha Stewart Offers the Sex Advice You Never Knew You Wanted!

You’re going to need a basket of apples, a bunch of popsicle sticks, and as much Krazy Glue as you can find.

Alexa Lyons

Mar 7, 2014

DIY guru and convicted felon Martha Stewart can now add something new to her extensive portfolio: sex expert. After Stewart participated in a Reddit AMA on Thursday, the public learned a little more about the businesswoman than they bargained for, when she was asked by one user whether she had any sex tips:

Yes, you read that correctly: Martha Stewart recommends that you bathe before and after having sex, and remember to brush you teeth, presumably because she thinks you are a vile, vile beast, and frankly you should just go ahead and drink bleach before any sexual encounter. Later on things got even more uncomfortable when a fellow blogger asked for some much-needed advice:

“Ok, here goes: 1. How do you clean a steel riveted leather harness used for a strap-on dildo? 2. What’s the best way to remove skidmarks (left during sexual relations) from Pratesi sheets? 3. How can you clean semen stains off of a green velour recliner?”

Her response was equally as epic: “What’s a dildo?” Classic, Martha. After being told it was a “pleasure device,” she seemed to quickly change her tune, adding, “When I get my first dildo I’ll look up some information.” Looks like she has big plans for the weekend.

Photos by Peter Kramer / Getty Images

Mentioned in this article: celebrity Entertainment sex

Martha Stewart Offers the Sex Advice You Never Knew You Wanted!

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