Maxim Told Me To Go There St. Patrick’s Day Special: Drink Green Beer 4 Days In A Row!

Take a whirlwind, four-city tour so the St. Paddy’s madness lasts all weekend!

This is Maxim’s weekly guide to the parties, festivals, events, and assorted mayhem going on around the country. Check back each Friday to see what’s happening over the weekend and the following week, then pack your bag and hit the road! And if you think we missed something, tell us in the comments, or tweet at us with #MaximGoThere

This week, we’re focusing purely on the biggest and best St. Patrick’s Day parades the country has to offer, so get your drinking pants on and get ready for a good time!

Molly’s At The Market Irish Parade

Mar 14, New Orleans, LA

As you’d expect from a city that celebrates Mardi Gras for two straight months, NOLA gets pretty serious about St. Patrick’s Day. In fact, they’ll still be celebrating on April 6, but it all kicks off March 14 in the French Quarter with marching groups, carriages, and of course, shrieking women on balconies flashing everybody in sight. God, we love NOLA.

Chicago Saint Patrick’s Day Parade

Mar 15, Chicago, IL

Chicago is legendary for its St Patty’s celebration, which starts at 10AM when the Chicago Journeymen Plumbers dye the river bright green. Two hours later, the parade begins at Balbo and Columbus, at which point, it’s officially time to tell everyone you’re Irish (because, like, one of your great grandmothers, was half Irish, on her maternal side, like, maybe?) and try to make out with as many strangers as possible.

Boston St. Patrick’s Day Parade

Mar 16, Boston, MA

If you’re still alive and able to make the flight, hit up the country’s second biggest parade and spend your Sunday in charming Boston, quaffing beer, enjoying the sights, sunning yourself on the Common, and maybe getting the crap kicked out of you on the T for wearing a Yankees hat and oh my God why would you do that?

The New York City Saint Patrick’s Day Parade

Mar 17, New York, NY

Got one more parade left in you, slugger? Good – because after three days of solid partying, it’s now actually St. Patrick’s Day. Celebrate the NYC parade’s 253rd birthday when it starts at 11AM on Monday, then just dive into the general madness that is Manhattan on St. Paddy’s. Expect hammered coeds, honking traffic, and hundreds of really, really pissed Midtown office workers who only stepped outside to get a sandwich and found themselves helplessly swept halfway to Tribeca. Sláinte mhaith!