Has your passion been lacking in the bedroom? Has your once-incredible sex slowly transforms into a soul-crushing chore? Don't worry, there's nothing wrong with you. It’s a common complaint of people in relationships — but it doesn't have to be that way.
To find out what keeps the sexy torch of passion burning bright in the bedroom, researchers analyzed data from an NBC News survey of over 38,000 people, and found a set of characteristics that sexually satisfied couples have in common. Apparently, sexually adventurous couples reported being satisfied with anal stimulation, experimentation, and saying “I love you” during sex were the most common things that kept the passion alive. Because what’s more adventurous and passionate than telling her you love her while sticking something in her butt?
Don't worry, you don't have to do those things: As researcher David Frederick of Chapman University points out, it's willingness to experiment and be adventurous in the bedroom that's truly thrilling about sex, more so than actually doing adventurous things. Of those who reported being dissatisfied with their sex life, 60% agreed with the statement, “I feel that my partner doesn’t know how to excite me,” meaning that couples who don’t even attempt to spice things up between the sheets live sad, boring sex lives. At least wave around a vibrator or something, and if she doesn’t like it, at least you tried, and that’s sexy.
So, in case you’re stuck in a sexual rut and aren’t the biggest fan of butt stuff — or grunting out a forced “I love you” over the sound of your sweaty bodies slapping together — we put together a list of three simple things you can do to make your sex life a whole lot more satisfying.
Go down on her more.
Listen, gentlemen, it’s no secret that you’re a little stingy when it comes to giving head. There’s no use denying it. But why not surprise your unsuspecting lady with a little trip south of the border? It’ll be a novel treat for both of you, especially if you rarely go down on her at all (which you don't). Doing that extra something special will be well worth it for both of you. Trust us.
Have sex outside the bedroom.
Since routine is what sucks the passion out of sex, we don’t even have to tell you that having sex in the same place over and over again gets really boring and monotonous. When you get busy somewhere other than your bedroom (like, for example, a hotel), your brain gets all excited and pumps out some extra dopamine, which is the hormone responsible for feelings of euphoria. With that extra feel-good dopamine, passion is restored, and all is well in the world, nay, the bedroom, again.
Have a few drinks.
Booze lubricates a lot more than just your social life, if you catch my drift. Having a drink or two with bae can really help set the mood and loosen you up, making things perfect for sexy time. Plus, alcohol is notorious for bringing out the horndog in us because it depresses the parts in our brain used for cognition while leaving the areas involved with sexual impulses untouched, thus making us want to get nasty. Reach for some red wine or champagne, because science says so. Just don't drink too much.
Watch porn together.
According to sex researcher Dr. Justin Lehmiller, watching porn together on occasion can be a novel and exciting experience for couples, and sexually novel and exciting experiences are hot. Like all novel experiences, it triggers the release of dopamine, making sex on the days you watch porn together pretty damn amazing.