Happy Hawaiians Flocked To Pornhub After Fake Missile Alert

Because masturbating is a great way to celebrate not being nuked.



If you suddenly got an incredibly scary ballistic missile warning like Hawaii did last week, and the crushing realization that you’re probably about to die sets in, what would you do?

Like everyone in Hawaii, you’d probably drop whatever you’re doing, run for cover, hug your family, and prepare yourself for the hell you’re about to face, right? Right. 

According to some new data released by Pornhub, that’s exactly what the folks in Hawaii did, because the minute the alert went out at 8:07am, traffic on the porn site immediately crashed and burned, and by 8:24, traffic had dropped 77 percent below the average of a typical Saturday.

(Pornhub Insights)

But guess what happened right after the missile alert was declared a false alarm? Traffic absolutely skyrocketed.

(Pornhub Insights)

When residents were notified at 8:45 that the missile alert was an error, traffic quickly returned to normal, but by 9:01, it surged 48 percent above average. You know, because people needed to celebrate, and what better way to celebrate not dying than with porn??

Well done, horny people of Hawaii. Well done. 

H/T: IFLScience