20 Mistakes You Can Make In Bed That Will Totally Ruin Sex, According To Real Women
“Please do not ignore my boobs.”
But do you know what women don’t want? Hmmm…that’s where it gets tricky. You could be giving her the moon and the stars in bed, metaphorically speaking, but you might also be giving her some things she definitely doesn’t want, but she’s too nice to tell you you’re killing the mood.
I know for a fact that many women are guilty of this — they simply don’t have the heart to tell a man to knock it off when he’s in the heat of the moment and balls deep in her.
That’s why I scoured the bowels of the internet and found this Reddit thread titled “What are the most common mistakes guys make in bed?” and read through all 6185 comments, and compiled the best 20 pieces of advice into this handy list, just because I care about you. We all deserve to have the best sex humanly possible.
1. “Nothing makes me more uncomfortable than seeing dudes twisting their faces into bizarre positions, clearly doing everything they can to stifle their moans. Just act normal and let them flow.”
2. “When we say, “Oh god yes, just like that!” We mean it. We don’t mean double-down, twice as fast, harder, etc. We mean JUST. LIKE. THAT.”
3. “Please do not beat my vagina with your fingers as fast as you can. Seriously, that is NOT going to get me off. It hurts.”
4. “Not trimming their toenails before rubbing all up and down my legs.”
Ew. No self-respecting woman wants to see talons on your feet. Keep that shit tidy. Please.
5. “Don’t EVER switch from anal to vaginal or do the back and forth shit you see in porn. For real, if fecal matter gets into the vagina it can cause nasty infections and a shit ton of problems for your lady. Stay hygienic, and if you wanna switch back to the V, clean your D.”
6. “Assuming that when you’re done, she’s done.”
7. “You can’t go down on me for two minutes and expect an orgasm to magically appear. Those things take work, and they don’t always come for me, so if you’re gonna go down there with your tongue, you better be ready to take your sweet time.
“And if you don’t wanna give me more than a minute of your attention down there, then you better not expect me to blow you for more than a minute.”
8. “Going for anal without asking and preparations. Also, trying to put as much of their hand into the woman as possible. No, that doesn’t feel good.”
9. “Sticking it in and asking 20 seconds later how many times I came. Like, what?”
10. “Pulling out anal beads like you’re starting a fucking lawn mower.”
I don’t even need to tell you what’ll happen if you do that.
11. “Please do not ignore my boobs. The nipples are two little magic buttons that will work wonders for you if you actually pay attention to them.”
12. “Kissing ONLY my face and ignoring everything else. Kiss my neck, my tummy, my hips, my thighs…”
13. “Use their tongue like it’s a penis. Like, trying to shove your tongue in and out of my vagina like that does something. Tongues are for other, better things.”
14. “Thinking foreplay is 2 minutes of kissing, 30 seconds of taking off my clothes and 20 seconds of kissing from my neck to my V. Men, remember you guys are like microwaves and we are like ovens. We need adequate warming up time.”
15. “Women have more body parts than tits, ass and pussy. Want to get a woman going? Touch her whole body, take your time. It will make her feel like you find her sexy and wanted, not just a pussy you want to fuck.”
16. “Wash your sheets at least a few times a month.”
No woman wants to have sex and then sleep on dingy, nasty bedding where your farts are and swamp ass are literally baked into the comforter. Gross.
Clean sheets are sexy sheets.
And speaking of cleanliness…
17. “A lot of guys aren’t clean enough. Ultimately, I don’t care what your dick looks like as long as that dick is clean. A sparkling clean, non-sweaty dick is way, way more likely to get enthusiastic blowjobs.”
18. “If you want something more that dead weight to hump you better warm me up and push some buttons. If you don’t take the time on foreplay then don’t expect me to do anything more than grit my teeth and wait for it to be over.”
19. “Not making noises. If I’m moaning and panting and you’re not moaning at some point, I’m probably not gonna waste my time with you anymore. At least make SOME noises or say something sexy when you’re cumming….I like someone who is into it just as much as I am…”
20. “For the love of God, wash your balls!”