Want to have sex with the same person more than once? Then do it right the first time!
Photo by Carlos Nunez
Getting busy with someone new is always exciting. Yes, awkwardness pretty much comes with the territory, but don’t simply resign yourself to a clumsy first round. Sex and relationship expert Emily Morse, coauthor of Hot Sex: Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight, says that when it comes to getting first-time booty, “The most important thing to do is relax and have fun with your new partner.” So why not kick it up a notch? Instead of playing it safe and boring, unleash your wild side and make your inaugural roll in the hay one she’ll remember.
Do it when she least expects it
While you might think bedding a woman for the first time requires a picturesque setup in the boudoir, ladies actually prefer an impulsive romp—and why restrict it to the bedroom? “Couch, floor, and bathroom sex are my favorites,” says Mia,* 28. Least favorites (presumably): the Dumpster, the walk-in freezer, and that creepy nook under the stairs.
Make her wait
Bringing a gal to the brink before the action even begins can score you major points. Jess, 23, loves it when a guy slowly undresses her. “Sometimes it’s even better than them going down on you,” she says. Morse adds that engaging in a long presex make-out session can also raise your profile. “Kissing reassures a woman that you’re not in it only for the sex and gives you the golden opportunity to demonstrate how much you’re willing to invest in her pleasure.” It’s like a 401(k) for your boner!
“A guy doesn’t need to pull out any tricks the first night—I don’t need games or toys,” says Carrie, 30. “He just needs to be sexually open.” Sandy, 26, adds, “The first time I was with my boyfriend, he kept begging me to let him go down on me, again and again. The fact that he was so eager to please me, and really seemed to enjoy it, made our first time so memorable.”
Go beyond missionary
Being bold with your position choice can make that first time more significant…and more fun. “Anything that’s not so vanilla is better, but stick with it for a while,” says Amelia, 29. “Don’t change positions every two minutes.” Still, avoiding the blandness of missionary doesn’t mean you need to bust out the pile driver, which may scare her off. Instead, have your girl get on top, which can make orgasms more likely for her and keeps your repertoire a little more interesting, too.
Talk…but not too much
“Try to strike a balance between checking in and passionately going for it,” says Mia. In other words, don’t ask for permission every time you inch your hands a smidge farther south, and pay attention to her reactions. Is she moaning? Is she arching her back? Are her cheeks flushed? Then you’re either on the right track…or you’re in the middle of a yoga studio. In which case, stop immediately.
Don’t try too hard
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. “Be able to laugh,” says Lexie, 27. “Sex has funny noises and funny moments. The best way to make sure you’re both enjoying yourselves is to acknowledge them and move on.” It’s the only way that farting in bed will lead to a second round (of sex, not farting).
*Some names have been changed.
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