This 16-Year-Old Who Gets to Live with a Porn Star For a Month Is the Definitely the Happiest Teen in the World

And all because he won a contest.

While teens all over America are doing homework, working shitty part-time jobs, planning elaborate promposals, making viral memes, and slamming their bedroom doors in unison because UGH Mom you don’t understand and you never will, one teen in Russia is allegedly living the dream.

The Daily Mail reports that Ruslan Schedrin, 16, recently won a contest to live in a Moscow hotel with porn star Ekaterina Makarova for one month. Schedrin is — shocker — ecstatic, saying that Makarova has “good sizes” and that he is “boiling inside.” (That’s one way to put it.) 

He won by simply being the 100,000th visitor to a gaming site — and his mother, Vera Schedrina, sounds pissed:

‘Such a prize, how could they get such an idea for a 16 year old boy. I am shocked. I have not seen the girl. But my son must study.’

Under the rule of the competition, he can pass on the prize to his ‘official representative’, for example, his father. But the mother is against this too.

‘No, absolutely not,’ she said.

She said the prize has led to family ‘quarrels’ and her son ‘has gone mad about it’ .

Meanwhile, Makarova said “16 was ‘a good age to be independent.'” 

Of course, this could all be bullshit: Schedrin is a child actor and this does sound like a…uhhhh…creative publicity stunt. 

But if it’s real, our condolences to Ms. Makarova — teenage boys are a pain in the ass to live with.  

h/t BroBible