7 Things That Women Hate in Bed

And what to do instead.

Sometimes, the internet will throw you a bone. No, not that kind of bone. We’re talking about genuine insight that you can actually use to be better in bed.

On Wednesday night, thea curious Reddit user opened up a thread about common mistakes guys make during sex. Hey, it’s not your fault, but sometimes what you see in porn isn’t always what women really want when it comes to getting busy. Let this wealth of crowd-sourced sex tips serve as a chance to up your bedroom game. Trust us, she’ll thank you.

Below are some of our favorite comments from Redditors. Enjoy.

1. “Finding the clit, but then treating it like you’re trying to give me a friction burn.”

Remember, it’s one of the most sensitive body parts in existence. Try gentle tapping or circular motions at first. If she wants it harder, she’ll speak up.

2. “Not making enough noise.”

Here at Maxim, we’ve always been proponents of being loud and proud in the bedroom. And everywhere, really. But how else is she going to know if you like what she’s doing if you don’t vocalize it one way or another? Don’t be shy, guys.

3. “Jamming fingers in and out of my pussy... And the kinds of guys that do it always seem to think five seconds of kissing is enough to get me wet.”

Repeat after me: your finger is not a dick. Your finger is not a dick. Your finger is not a dick. Use the wonder of flexible joints and dexterity to do things in there that your penis can’t. Circles, a soft “come hither” motion, etc, are all preferable to poking her like she’s a pinata.

4. “Don’t speed up, don’t go harder, just keep going exactly like that.”

Shocker: a vagina is much different than a penis, in that constant, sustained sensation is often what does the trick. If you find something she likes, don’t change course unless she tells you.

5. “Going for anal without asking and preparations… No, that doesn’t feel good.”

Now that we’ve covered the basics, let’s switch gears to butt stuff. Studies show that a lot more women than you might suspect are actually into anal, but how do you get to exploring this potentially unchartered territory? By asking first, checking in with her the whole time, and lots and lots of lube. No seriously. Lube. Lube lube lube lube lube.

6. “Sticking it in and asking 20 seconds later how many times I’ve came. Like. What?”

Asking or telling a woman to come for you can actually beget the exact opposite result. It’s hard enough to relax and get there, she doesn’t need the pressure of someone demanding it, too. She’s probably not going to finish from vaginal sex alone, either, so be sure you’ve got a good dose of hands and tongue involved in the equation.

7. “After skimming through most of this, I’d say asking Reddit instead of your partner is a pretty big mistake.”

And finally, the most important bit of advice of all — no two women want the exact same things in bed. As valuable as having people speaking candidly on the internet is, it’s no substitute for the magic words: “Tell me what you want me to do to you.” 

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