Watching Porn Alone Might Get You Dumped, Researchers Say

Make porn better by sharing it with someone you love.

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First a British National Health Service therapist say that porn is very damaging to your health and causes erectile dysfunction, and we were sad. Then, we learned that claim was complete bullshit and that porn is, in fact, not bad for your health at all, and we were very relieved. So many ups and downs.

Now a team of researchers believe that sitting around and watching porn by yourself is bad for your relationship, and will probably cause your significant other to dump you.

The claim was made by University of Oklahoma sociology professor Samuel Perry, at the American Sociological Association’s annual meeting earlier this week.

Perry and his colleagues conducted a study titled, Till Porn Do Us Part? Longitudinal Effects of Pornography Use on Divorce, in which they analyzed eight years worth of data to determine if porn has any ill effect on divorce rates. Sadly, there was some correlation. 

Apparently, when married men begin to view porn solo, divorce rates go up six to 16 percent, and when married women start watching porn all by their lonesome, divorce rates go up 6 to 11 percent. Could it be that getting caught by your spouse indulging in porn and jerking off makes them feel sad and inadequate? Or something like that.

However, watching porn is only bad for marriage if watched alone. If your partner is cool with tuning in to Pornhub and getting off together, it’s all good. In fact, watching porn with your boo actually makes you hotter for each other. It spices things up a bit.

“The negative effects of pornography use on a romantic relationship are typically for those couples where only one person is viewing pornography alone,” Perry told the University of Oklahoma’s student newspaper.

This whole ‘it’s only bad if you do it alone’ thing is also true when it comes to alcohol—a recent study revealed that couples who booze together, stay together, whereas if only one person in the relationship crushes a 6-pack while the other person sips on herbal tea (or anything non-alcoholic), the relationship could go up in flames.

Now that we’ve established that sharing is caring, go ahead and share your porn. Watch it with your girlfriend. Your relationship will thank you.

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