What She’s Thinking When You’re Going Down

Perfect the art of oral with this detailed guide to heading downtown.

Listen, you know what you’re doing. But the art of oral sex is less pointillist and more impressionist. Ask any woman how she feels about oral and she’ll tell you she loves it as much as Kim K loves taking selfies—and that’s a lot; she even published an entire book of them. So in case you’re looking to prefect the near-perfect, here’s deeply reported piece on a look at what she’s thinking while you’re going to work.

“That, not there.”

We’re sure there’s plenty of oral moves in your repertoire, but please keep in mind that every woman responds to it differently. When setting the table, be sure to mix up your routine until you learn exactly what she likes—and what you like, too. Once you’ve figured that out, there’s no turning back.

“There, not that.”

It’s a moving target. Go with the flow. As the notoriously musical lover-of-many-women John Stamos suggests, “Listen to her body.” We agree. Read your girl’s movements and pay attention: How fast is she breathing? Is she moaning? That’s a good sign. When you’ve hit the spot she likes, you’ll know.

“Did I lock the door behind me this morning?”

Don’t take this the wrong way, but women’s minds tend to wander during sex. According to Dr. Louann Brizendine, author of The Female Brain and The Male Brain, “Men have a sexual pursuit area that is 2.5 times larger than the one in the female brain,” which makes it easier for dudes to focus on the job at hand (aka, her box). Without snapping your fingers (“Hey! Down here!”), encourage her to focus. Move slowly, reassure her that you’re into it. Once she’s comfortable letting go, she’ll really enjoy herself and in turn, enjoy you.

“Wow, he’s so good at this.”

You’ve caught your stride. You know it, she knows it. Keep going.

“Wait, why is he so good at this?”

When you’re a talented cunnilinguist, it’s natural for a woman to wonder just how you got so good at it (aka, how many women you practiced on before her). Ease up, wander a few moments, leave her wanting more. She’ll forget her flash of worry, grab your hair, and guide you back down.

“Is he getting tired?”

Now that we know women can get distracted in the bedroom (*see Science above), make her feel as if there’s no place you’d rather be than in the moment pleasing her. In fact, between her legs is your favorite place in the entire world. The more at ease she feels, the sooner she’ll reach completion, and the sooner you can give yourself a pat on the back.

“I should return the favor…”

Never forget: What’s good for the goose means a blowjob for the gander—or something like that. When you’re doing your thing, keep in mind that the harder you work, the more she will want to return the favor. Didn’t you see Pay It Forward?

“Don’t you ever stop touching me.”

Whether she’s straddling your face or lying on her back, don’t forget to reach up and touch her. While your mouth is busy, your hands are free to play with her breasts, stroke her thighs and even smack her booty. The change-up will not only feel nice, but could be the thing that pushes her over the edge (of climax, that is—don’t let her fall off the bed).


You can tell she’s almost there. Increase pressure and speed. There is no faking it here. She’s moaned and writhed her way to climax. You finished the job and successfully at that. Now, she’s putty in your extremely talented hands. Fín.

“Sex, please.”

You’ve just served the perfect appetizer to a truly satisfying meal. After the first orgasm, a woman’s body is very ready for the taking. After you’ve blown her mind with your mouth, she’ll want the rest of you pronto.

High five, guys.