5 Facts That Prove Masturbating Is Really Good For You

As if you needed any more reasons to do it...
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(Photo: Getty)

(Photo: Getty)

We've told you more than once just how healthy having sex is (because it's that good for you), but we haven't talked much about how healthy masturbating is. And that's what we're going to do today--we're going to go over the health benefits of jerking off. 

I mean, all healthy men masturbate. Anyone who denies it is a liar. That's why you should know all the salutary things this wholesome activity does for your body. 

As new research from Men's Health and Medical Daily points out, here are five reasons why self love is the best love:

1. It lifts your mood.
Getting off treats your brain to a hearty cocktail of neurotransmitters like dopamine and oxytocin, which are known to brighten your mood, increase feelings of satisfaction (obviously), and put your brain’s reward center to good use.

“An orgasm is the biggest non-drug blast of dopamine available,” says Dr. Gloria Brame, a clinical sexologist. “A brain scan of someone having an orgasm looks like a heroin addict’s.”

That sounds like a bad thing, but it’s not. A heroin addict’s brain gets absolutely drenched in dopamine when they shoot up, which is why they feel so goddamn good when they’re high. Just think of orgasms as heroin without the the overdoses and syringes and stuff.

2. It helps you last longer.
You know what’s a good idea? Some self love before a hot date. Seriously.

As the owner of a penis, you already know that round two lasts longer than the first time around, and you also have more control the second time.

“[Masturbating] an hour before a date will give you more control,” Brame says, suggesting a little me-time beforehand is the best way to get ready for a date.

Moreover, Ava Cadell, Ph.D. says you should train yourself by timing how long it takes you to orgasm, and try to last longer each time you beat off. For example, if you’re in O-land in two minutes, go for three minutes the next time. It’s all about control, my friends.

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3. It makes your erections extra hard.
As you get older, your entire body loses muscle tone. And when I say entire body, I mean all over, including your dong. This is also true for women, which explains why older ladies pee a little when they sneeze, laugh, or do literally anything, actually. 

Anyway, masturbating (and having sex) puts your pelvic floor muscles to work, thereby strengthening them to prevent incontinence and erectile dysfunction.

“It keeps the angle of your dangle perky,” says Brame, suggesting the idiom “use it or lose it” definitely applies to your dick.

4. It boosts immunity.
When you blow your load, your body temporarily increases its production of cortisol, says hormone specialist Dr. Jennifer Landa. Cortisol, which is your stress hormone, is crucial for your ability to react to everyday stress, and in small doses, helps regulate and maintain immunity.

“Masturbation can produce the right environment for a strengthened immune system,” Landa says.

Nice. And it doesn't even look any more ridiculous than using the Shake Weight...

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5. It prevents cancer.
Not ejaculating regularly causes the fluid in your prostate to become stagnant and full of yucky viruses and bacteria, which can lead to serious health problems like cancer. Yikes. Nobody wants cancer down there.

Researchers from the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health recently found that men in their 20s who ejaculated at least 21 times a month were 19 percent less likely to develop prostate cancer, and that number increased to 22 percent for men in their 40s. Another study also found that men who jerked off over five times a week were 33 percent less likely to develop prostate cancer.

That said, you should probably rub one out a couple times a week. You know, for your well-being and prosperous longevity.

Be well, gentlemen.