Here’s Why You Should Never Have Sex In a Hot Tub Ever Again

Step away from the tub.

Hot tubs are awesome, and I think we can all agree that some really, really wonderful things happen in them. Rest and relaxation, sexy topless parties, and obviously, sex. Lots and lots of (extra) hot sex.

Oh, and sexy photo shoots with Olivia Munn in a jaw-dropping black one-piece.

But sadly, every rose has its thorn. Sure, hot tubs are the tits, but according to California-based gynecologist Diana Hoppe, they’re also disgusting and full of bacteria, could give you a weird lumpy rash, a gnarly fungal infection, and could get your girlfriend pregnant. Well, shit. That sucks.

According to Dr. Hoppe, the chlorine-saturated goodness of a hot tub makes condoms absolutely futile, which makes it hella easy for you to accidentally knock up your girl. And that would suck, especially if you don’t want a kid yet. Particularly one conceived in a Jacuzzi.

What happens is, the chlorine in the water can mess up the effectiveness of the latex, while the fun bubbles can make the condom slip off your junk without you noticing, which presents an entirely different problem of its own.

That said, you might not want to get too intimate in a hot tub unless you’re using a different method of contraception, or if you actually want a hot tub baby. And in that case, go nuts.

But unfortunately, the bad news doesn’t end there. According to Dr. Hoppe, simply sitting in a hot tub, let alone having sex in one, is enough to give you a gnarly infection or something, because the hot, stagnant water is basically just a mass of festering bacteria, riddled with diseases.

Dr. Hoppe says one of the ailments you can pick up from gross hot tub water is “hot tub rash,” technically known as pseudomonas folliculitis. If that sounds gross, it’s because it is. Hot tub rash is an area of itchy, red lumps on your skin that looks just as horrible as it feels. But the good news is that it goes away on its own in a few days. Hooray!

Another thing that can happen from Jacuzzi water, Dr. Hoppe says, is a yeast infection. While this is most common in women, don’t get too comfortable, because it also happens to men. And you don’t want an uncomfortable yeasty mess on your penis, do you? Of course not.

As Dr. Hoppe has outlined, sex in hot tubs is very risky business, seeing as how the health of your junk and parental status is at stake. Damn, sorry. I hope this doesn’t ruin hot tubs for you forever.

Just be careful, my friends. 

H/T: Daily Mail