Aging Action Stars’ One-Liners, Reimagined
“I need some Bengay, motherf***er!”
A Good Day to Die Hard hits theaters this week and, rather miraculously, 78-year-old* star Bruce Willis still manages to hold his own in the role of trigger-happy tough guy John McClane. Below, we suggest some updated, age-appropriate versions of the action movie catch phrases made famous by Willis, Arnold, and the rest of the real-life expendables. Hasta la vista, baby.
*Estimated age
Bruce Willis in Die Hard
Original line: “Yipee-ki-yay, motherfucker!”
New line: “I need some Bengay, motherfucker!”
Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator
Original line: “I’ll be back!”
New line: “Ow, my back!”
Al Pacino in Scarface
Original line: “Say hello to my little friend!”
New line: “Say hello to my Polydent!”
Mr. T in Rocky 3
Original line: “I pity the fool.”
New line: “I pity my stool.”
Clint Eastwood in Dirty Harry
Original line: “Go ahead, make my day.”
New line: “Go ahead, make me pay—in mostly pennies and nickels.”
Ray Liotta in Goodfellas
Original Line: “As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster.”
New Line: “Yesterday is far back as I can remember.”
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