Here’s How a Gluten-Free Diet Is Actually Bad For You

You can go back to eating real pizza now.



Many of those poor souls who suddenly declared at some point in the last five years that gluten is the devil and they will die with great, bloated, gassy bellies if they eat a single blueberry muffin may be colossally wrong.

In-depth research recently published in the British Medical Journal indicates that unless a doctor—with, you know, an real medical degree, not a certificate from the Holistic New Life Hippie Massage Clinic—has diagnosed celiac disease or a similar intolerance, you actually should eat gluten. 

Courtney Allegra likes gluten, like, a lot. 

We kid, but of course, and there’s actually plenty of positive PR on behalf of never touching bread that actually tastes good again. People claim it utterly changes their lives—they lose weight, stop farting completely, become floating orbs of angelic light, you name it. 

But! According to this bread-boosting new study, gluten is actually good for you. The BMJ study chewed through data on 100,000 people gathered over the course of more than three decades and found that those who ate more gluten were less likely to develop heart disease. 

Another problem with avoiding gluten if you don’t have to: according to a Gizmodo interview with Andrew Chan, the study author, you’ll “miss other essential nutrients” and that could be a problem for maintaining a healthy diet with a sensible balance of vitamins and minerals.

Essentially, Chan’s study supports a very irritating conclusion for those who have diagnosed their bloated bellies with help from Dr. Internet: yes, most devoted to gluten-free diets are simply following a seriously lame fad. That, and they could end up dying from heart disease for their trouble.

So you could tell the gluten-free whiners in your lives to get over it, if you care about the long-term health of their tickers. 

Or, you know, just hog all that delicious pizza, beer, bread, cake, and donuts for yourself.