While we struggle to wipe our asses effectively, the Europeans do so in effortless style with their fancy-schmancy "bidets." And to really show us just how far ahead of us they are in the excretion game, a team of inventors in Spain just debuted a prototype for a "Urinal 2.0," which acts like a bidet that cleans your dick.
Here's how it works: After some fastidious European gent is done having his afternoon wee, programmed sensors inside the urinal activate an automated cleaning service, which will splash his john with a soap-and-water mix and then blow dry it in just three seconds.
Now, you may be wondering: How will this newfangled urinal handle all that I'm packing? After all, it was built for Europeans.
Not a problem. Through its sensors, the Urinal 2.0 tailors its precise cleaning service to all manner of willies, meaning both Ron Jeremy and Howard Stern can both benefit from a little disruption in the urinal market.
It's still in prototype phase, and the soap might be too much for those with sensitive foreskin (ouch), so we'll gladly let our European brethren to try it out first.