Model, Author And Northwestern Professor Shermin Kruse On The Power Of Stoic Empathy
“It works just as well in a boardroom as it does in a breakup.”
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When Shermin Kruse walks into a room, people notice. It’s not just the confidence, or the precision, or the fact that she looks like she stepped out of a magazine’s power issue. It’s the energy—cool, calibrated, and impossible to ignore. Kruse (or Sher, as many know her) is a negotiation professor at Northwestern, a TEDx producer, and a former partner at a major corporate law firm. She’s also the author of Stoic Empathy. But don’t mistake the poise for passivity. Kruse isn’t afraid of conflict, she just doesn’t let it control her. Her approach? “Turn emotion into a tool. Combine stoic self-command with deep empathic insight.” She calls it stoic empathy, and in her world, “It’s the new apex of authority.”
Brains, Beauty & The Business of Influence
Kruse’s story reads like a screenplay, only sharper. Born in Iran, she grew up in Canada and went on to study both philosophy and neuropsychology at the University of Toronto, then earned her law degree from the University of Michigan. To help pay for school, she modeled. And sold pool tables. She credits her parents, survivalists, with what she calls “the steady strength of Marvel superheroes. They modeled it all. The duality of chaos and control.” As she came into her own, that duality evolved from chaos and control to glamour and grit. It’s a dynamic that still shapes her work: part philosopher, part force of nature.
What Is Stoic Empathy?
Kruse’s concept of stoic empathy is already gaining traction with CEOs, elite teams, and national policymakers. At its core, it’s a discipline, one that prioritizes emotional clarity, strategic awareness, and calm influence. “Stoicism is misunderstood,” she explains. “It’s not about being unfeeling; it’s about being unshakeable. Empathy, when practiced with discernment, doesn’t have to absorb others’ emotions; it’s about seeing those feelings and understanding what drives them. Together, they become a kind of superpower.” Whether she’s advising during a nine-to-ten-figure acquisition or giving a keynote to a room of executives, Kruse applies stoic empathy as both compass and scalpel. “It works just as well in a boardroom as it does in a breakup.”
A New Kind Of Authority
From TEDx stages to legal strategy sessions, Kruse’s presence is distinct, not loud, but deliberate. In one high-tension meeting, when voices escalated and egos clashed, Kruse didn’t engage the heat. She slowed her cadence. She paused. And the tone of the room changed. “When energy spikes in a room, people expect confrontation,” she says. “What they don’t expect is calm. Or curiosity.” The pause opened space, not for retreat, but redirection. Arguments became questions. Tension gave way to thought. “It’s not about dominating the room,” she adds. “It’s about changing the room’s center of gravity.” That’s stoic empathy in action: influence without aggression, clarity without coldness, power without noise.
Why It Matters Now
Living in a moment of emotional extremes, overload on one end, shutdown on the other, Kruse argues that neither is sustainable. “In business, in love, in leadership, we’ve confused reaction with passion. But the most magnetic person in the room isn’t the loudest. It’s the one who can stay centered while everyone else spirals.” For men in particular, she says, Stoic Empathy offers a path to strength with conscience and mastery with finesse, the ability to understand emotions without being ruled by them. “It’s what makes someone truly influential,” she adds. “And really attractive.”
The Book, Movement & Invitation
With the release of Stoic Empathy, Kruse is extending her philosophy to a broader audience. The book blends neuroscience, ancient wisdom, and modern leadership into a guide for navigating life with what she calls “calm intensity and deliberate influence.” It’s not just for executives. It’s for leaders, creatives, romantics—anyone, she says, who is “tired of pretending that emotional control and connection can’t coexist.” Because in Kruse’s world, “they don’t just coexist. They ignite.”