MaximBet’s Top 5 NFL Picks For Week 8

The best picks for Raiders/Saints, Panthers/Falcons, Commanders/Colts, and 49ers/Rams—plus a $100 parlay that pays $4,346.

Those of us waiting for the 2022 NFL season to make sense can continue to kick rocks. Not only did the Green Bay Packers lose, when favored, for the third consecutive week, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers dropped a conference game against the hapless Carolina Panthers. 

And calling the Panthers “hapless” is a compliment. They’re a garbage fire consisting of dead rat kings and baby diapers. Tom Brady’s problems outside the field seem to be impacting the team. 

When I was going through my divorce, I just drank too much, ate a lot of fast food and powered through it. This is what the TB12 lifestyle can cost you. Drop the strawberry seeds this week and hit up Five Guys and order a plate of barbecue nachos at Applebee’s. Wash it all down with a couple of White Claws then go home and pound a bottle of Hobble Creek until you pass out watching Ghost Adventures. It works, Tom. Trust me. 

Lock Of The Week

Las Vegas Raiders (-1.5) At New Orleans Saints

The Raiders are the best one-win team in the league and their early season struggles show just how much trouble Josh McDaniels is having, not as a head coach, but into converting to a fully digital recording medium. He needs to get a teenage kid to show him how to film an opposing team’s practice over TikTok and get this season on track. 

Or take a lesson from the camera guy that Devante Adams piledrove a few weeks ago. I mean, Adams will pay for it. The courts will see to that.

As for the Saints, Jameis Winston’s status still up in the air, so there’s no way for us to know before kickoff if it’ll be the former No. 1 overall pick or his backup, Andy Dalton, tossing pick sixes into the waiting hands of the Raiders’ defensive backs. 

Take the Raiders at -1.5.

Worst Games Of The Week

Carolina Panthers At Atlanta Falcons (-4.5)

Washington Commanders At Indianapolis Colts (-2.5)

In defeating the Tampa Bay Buccaneers last week, the Panthers delivered what is being called the “low point” of Tom Brady’s Tampa Bay Buccaneer tenure. And it is, at least until Gisele shows up at the Met Gala with Pete Davidson.

The Falcons were crushed by the Bengals a week ago, but that had less to do with Atlanta being bad than Cincinnati remembering they weren’t supposed to suck this season. 

Taylor Heinicke once again proved he’s the best quarterback on the Commanders roster for the third straight season and he’ll be in an epic quarterback duel with Sam Ehlinger, who has never thrown a single pass in the NFL. Frank Reich probably needs to start updating that resume. 

Take the Falcons at -4.5 and/or the Commanders at +2.5

A Shocking Upset Of The 49ers

San Francisco 49ers (-1.5) At Los Angeles Rams

As a Rams fan, I have to say it would really make my day, if not my whole week, if the Jimmy Garoppolo that manages to show up against every other NFL team he faces makes the trip to Los Angeles Sunday. 

The Jimmy G that tossed two picks went 3 for 8 on third down against the Atlanta Falcons in a 28-14 loss would be ideal, but, honestly, I’d take the Garoppolo that threw a dump interception and coughed up a sack-fumble against the Kansas City Chiefs. I just don’t want to see the Jimmy G/Joe Montana clone that manages to clock in against the Rams twice every regular season. I’m done with that guy.

I want the Jimmy Garoppolo that every San Francisco 49er fan hates and wants run out of NoCal to play in SoCal this Sunday. Is that too much to ask?

The last time these two teams met on this field, the Rams came back from a double-digit deficit to win the NFC Championship and go to Super Bowl LVI. This is the healthiest they’ve been this season and Cooper Kupp remains the best wide receiver in football, giving your racist uncle something else to feel undeserved pride over.

Take the Rams at +1.5 or their moneyline at -105.

Drop $100 On A Four-Team Parlay

I’m still out here, still don’t know how I feel about it. Early in the mornin’ talkin’ to Marquis about it. Wonderin,’ “should I let it go, or, we beefin’ bout it?” Knowin’ that I’ll go cold on you for weeks about it, mainly because I’m so enraptured by this groovy little four-game parlay.

This is an easy one, because we’ve already picked two upsets earlier. We like the Commanders (+120) to knock off the Colts and the Rams (-105) to upend the Niners. Now, we just need to pick two more to toss in the pot, and I got you.

First off, we have the New York Giants (+125) showing up, yet again, as road dogs to the suddenly hot Seattle Seahawks. All the Giants have been doing in this position is winning outright this season as Brian Daboll is already crafting his Coach of the Year speech.

Lastly, we have the Green Bay Packers (+360) as double-digit underdogs to everyone’s favorite team, the Buffalo Bills in Buffalo. The Pack have lost three straight and all of NFL punditry is writing them off, predicting they’ll miss the playoffs. And if you can’t envision a scenario, specifically because of that, where Rodgers doesn’t drop 40 on the Bills while smugly looking like he’s huffing up his own ayahuasca farts, then I don’t think you’ve followed Rodgers’ career closely enough.

A $100 winning parlay bet on these four moneylines pays $4,346.

Adam Greene is @TheFirstMan on Twitter 

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