The Internet Is Going Bonkers Over Sammy Sosa’s Bizarre New Look
What the hell is happening here?
Sammy Sosa is one of baseball‘s all-time home run kings. No one ever proved that he dabbled in performance-enhancing substances when he was actively playing, and he always seemed like one of baseball’s more decent guys.
In retirement, sadly, he has revealed that his blood is pure Pepto-Bismol. Or maybe he consumes a steady diet of strawberries and gum. We don’t know, really, we’re just searching for answers as to why the dude showed up in a recent TV interview looking like he was half-man, half-salmon.
Sosa—whose drastic change in complexion was noted with alarm back in 2009—recently gave an interview to ESPN Desportes tied in with something baseball-related, it doesn’t really matter what, because all Twitter could talk about was his resemblance to various cartoon characters. And ice cream.
Sammy Sosa and Snagglepuss ready to hit the town. pic.twitter.com/JKI5ezoHCI
— Maggie Serota (@maggieserota) July 13, 2017
Sosa has insisted he doesn’t have a skin condition like vitiligo, which causes patches of skin to lose their natural color. He’s said he simply wears a certain type of skin cream. Also, TV lights tend to make him look paler than he is. Additionally, he’s no longer getting daily sun on baseball fields.
He is also consuming five gallons of Strawberry Quik a day.
Okay, maybe that’s not true.
Anyway, Sammy Sosa wants everyone to believe everything is fine, and we’ll go with that for now.
He’s rich and famous enough he can afford to become a human reflective vest if he wants to.