The Four Products You Need to Make Bald Work

Be your best bald self.

Think of your hairless head in the same way you do your face. It’s covered in the same skin and once your scalp is mane-free – courtesy  of your razor or bum genetics – it’s time to rejigger your regimen (tossing that deep conditioning mask would be wise). For starters, dermatologist Fredric Brandt recommends that you swap out your shampoo for a face wash better suited to cleaning your endless forehead. If you’d prefer not to don a hat every time you leave the house, you’ll also need to slap on some SPF as sans hair the top of your head is like a giant bullseye for UV rays. Go for a mattifying formula unless you appreciate unsolicited comparisons to Mr. Clean. 

If you’re shaving the follicles that are still active, you’ll want to “prevent ingrown hairs with topical salicylic acid and antimicrobial agents, like benzoyl peroxide,” according to Dr. Brandt. Finally, keep your chrome dome soft and smooth by regularly exfoliating it with acid-based peels or retinol treatments. No mane, no problem.

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Here are the four products you need to own to go from being “prematurely bald” to “power bald”:

GO247 Face and Bald Cleanser

Made for guys who need to wash the subway grit off their face, this heavily botanical mix will keep your dome smooth and unblemished. [$18,]

Dermalogica Oil Free Matte SPF 30

You’ll be tempted to cover your head in neon zinc oxide. This is a bad idea unless you’re at a hell of a party. [$48;]

Anthony Ingrown Hair Treatment

Follicles are like deadbeat dads: They can abandon you and still keep screwing up your life. Fight back with a pleasant rub down. [$32;]

Jack Black DIY Power Peel Multi-Acid Resurfacing Pads

You think the floor of Madison Square Garden just looks like that? Nope. Somebody cleans it with a mop. These are your heads mops. [$38;]

Photos by Jaimie Trueblood / Paramount Pictures / Everett Collection