“Game of Thrones”-Inspired Sneakers

Because when you’re not playing Skyrim, you’re thinking about new ways to google “topless Khaleesi.”

Hey, fellow nerds! If you’re like us, when you’re not playing Skyrim or stroking your original Star Wars light sabers, you’re thinking about new ways to express your love for Game of Thrones without actually attending a renaissance fair. Aiding you in that quest: These GoT-themed Chucks, designed and sold exclusively by Etsy retailer Tannim.

The custom kicks are $115 and come in seven different designs—each representing a royal house from the HBO series: Lannister, Stark, Targaryen, Arryn, Greyjoy, Tully, and Baratheon. The good news is that unlike speaking Klingon in public, these are subtle enough that you might still get laid. They look just like regular Converse sneakers, except for a small embroidered seal bearing the name of your house of choice.

But what if you did want to take a step further, and really play up the Game of Thrones angle? We’ve got you covered with some other things inspired by the show that we’d like to see on a pair of shoes.

1.  Midget sex! Preferably involving Tyrion Lannister giving it to that prick Joffrey Baratheon right in the keester.

2.Daenerys Targaryen bathing with her dragons. Or bathing without her dragons. Either way. (Sidenote: Khaleesi, we may not look like Khal Drogo, but we can grunt just like him! Seriously, call us.)

3.Ned Stark’s severed head dangling off the end of a pair of shoelaces. Sorry—it’s just too easy.

4.Tywin Lannister’s face after he finds son Jaime playing naughty doctor with daughter Cersei. Just another day of incest in Westeros!

5. Badass tyke Arya Stark putting the hurt on that shifty creep Petyr Baelish—who also played Councilman Carcetti on The Wire. And if these two shows have taught us anything, it’s that when you come at the daughter of the king’s hand, you best not miss.

6.THIS KID. Why is he not in more episodes?? Robin Arryn is like 6, and pure evil. Plus he’s still breast-feeding, which is something we can definitely get behind.

This is kinda funny, show me more.

This sucks, show me girls.