Get Your Panties In A Bunch Over This New Male Lingerie

Please, stop the man-sanity!

It all started with meggings. 

Why, we asked ourselves, are “man leggings” a thing, and what can we do to stop them? A strongly worded letter? A protest? Arson at the manufacturing plant? Instead we went with passive disapproval, and our silence was soon punished with the arrival of “murses” and “man-gagement rings.” Suddenly, dudes who weren’t in rock bands were using “guyliner” to blacken their eyes. Isn’t that what getting punched in the face is for? 

The final straw of this disgraceful movement came with the recent launch of HommeMystere, a line of lingerie…for men: “manties” and “brosierres” and other lacy things to indulge your bulge. The way we see it, if you want to wear women’s underwear, grab some duct tape and pack it in like any self-respecting transsexual. 

Otherwise we’re doing what we should have done when meggings first reared their stretchy heads: fighting for our right to wear flannels, dirty jeans, and holey boxers. And, no, we are not going to be sporting a Brozilian wax underneath them. Stand with us, fellas, for we’re ending our silence now: Just say no to manties and burn your brosierre!