Gwyneth Paltrow seems to have a good girl image in the public mind, even though she does things like hot as hell lingerie photo shoots in grocery stores. Her upper crust Girl Scout vibe has a lot to do with past movie roles and her project devoted to clean, healthy living, Goop.
The introduction to Goop's "Reality Check" about this sometimes controversial subject is blunt, noting that anal sex was "once shocking, then it was having a cultural moment, now it’s practically standard in the modern bedroom repertoire."
The rest of the guide is in the form of a Q&A with Dr. Paul Joannides, author of The Guide to Getting it On! and it delves into some surprising facts about exploring the great down under. Check out some highlights below.
1. All the butt-banging seen in straight porn doesn't reflect reality in the bedroom. Dr. Joannides told Goop that while "some couples who enjoy anal sex a lot," it's a pretty small percentage. "But," he continued, "if you ask them how often they have anal vs. vaginal intercourse, they’ll say maybe they have anal one time for every five or ten times they have vaginal intercourse."
2. Also, don't use porn as a model for butt play. That is, you can't do as James Deen does in the movies and casually take her by surprise. In addition to noting the obvious need for a generous amount of lube, a woman, says Joannides, needs "to teach their sphincter muscles to relax enough that a penis can get past their gates. This takes a lot of practice." He also emphasizes the importance of communication, saying couples "who don’t freely give and receive feedback about what feels good and what doesn’t, and who don’t have a high level of trust should not be having anal sex."
3. There's no reason the first experience has to be bad. Joannides recommends—believe it or not—actually reading up on anal first, then spending time easing into things before the big moment. He also repeats the theme of strong communication, then says something that might fly in the face of assumptions about the best mindset for approaching the act: "Do not do it drunk or stoned, and do not use lube that numbs your anus. If it doesn’t feel good when it’s happening, stop."
4. It's possible for her to cum during anal, but there's a catch. "Some women say they have amazing orgasms from anal," Joannides tells Goop, "but usually they will be stimulating their clitoris at the same time."
5. It may take a few tries for things to really get good. Joannides once again emphasizes getting the muscles ready and open communication between partners then puts a damper on it for guys who have to stock up on Magnum super-sized condoms: "Common sense would tell you it should go way better if a guy is normal-sized as opposed to porn-sized."
The interview also addresses health issues surrounding anal sex in some detail and even how to approach the (extremely uncomfortable) prospect of addressing it when you give your kids "the talk."
All in all it's a common sense guide to a tricky subject. We're just surprised Gwennie didn't think to suggest all the recommended preparation be done with that golden dildo.