An ex once surprised me with lingerie for a present. But instead of the chic nightie I would’ve liked, he got a sheer fire-engine-red bra and crotchless panties. The sentiment was sweet, but the gift was about his desires, not mine.
When it comes to giving girls presents, the old adage is true: It’s the thought that counts—as long as you show you were thinking about her. And what better way to do that than by putting her needs first in bed? If you do it right, it’ll even result in a gift for you. So before you pick her up a shiny new vacuum cleaner, read what real women have to say about the sexiest holiday gifts they’ve ever gotten—and a few they still hope to receive. Then put your cash back in your wallet and get ready to give her one oh-holy-shit night.
’Tis the Season for Teasin’
The easiest way to give her a gift she’ll never forget is to tap into her fantasies. If she’s too shy to tell you hers, Los Angeles sex therapist Magen Todd, Ph.D., recommends offering up yours first. “Fantasies can cause anxiety for people,” she says, “but you have to be willing to take that risk. Curiosity is important.”
Maggie,* a 25-year-old store manager, tried the method with her boyfriend last year, and he combined several of her fantasies into one amazing night. “First he tied my hands and blindfolded me,” she says. “Next he relaxed me with a full-body massage. Then he fingered me and went down on me. By the time he put himself inside me, I was literally begging for it.” She returned the favor days later and says her memory of how great it felt turned her on the whole time.
Some women may prefer to drop hints about their sexy wishes, so keep your eyes and ears open. Fay, a 34-year-old executive assistant, says she’s dying to bring props to bed and play out a naughty-girl scenario. She leaves her browser open to sex-toy sites, hoping her boyfriend will notice. “I’d love for him to run feathers or a brush over me,” she says, “and use a vibrator on me while we’re having sex. But most of all I want him to lean me over, pull down my panties, and spank me with something.”
Jingle Her Bells
Though candles and rose petals can go a long way, it’s the super-creative gifts that are the most memorable. Lindsay, a 23-year-old editor, says her boyfriend once presented her with an IOU that promised to wake her up with oral sex each morning of Hanukkah. “I didn’t think he’d follow through on it,” she says, “but he did, and it was amazing! I’d wake to him slowly pulling off my panties and starting to lick me. And he wasn’t just trying to get it over with. He took his time until my body was almost numb. The best part? When I’d try to return the favor, he’d never let me. He said morning was my time.”
Simona, a 29-year-old paralegal, requested a similar gift last year. “I told my boyfriend that for the 12 days of Christmas he had to do 12 new things in bed,” she says. “We used nipple clamps, did it on a train, played follow-the-porn, tried a bunch of new positions. It got so that I’d get super wet at work, dreaming about what he had planned for that night.”
The element of surprise can work wonders, too. Sara, a 27-year-old marketing manager, had no idea she’d be getting a sexy gift when her boyfriend whisked her off to a winery and bed-and-breakfast for a weekend vacation. “After we were buzzing from the winery tour, he made a bubble bath in the Jacuzzi, and we steamed up the mirrored walls,” she says. “It got so we almost couldn’t breathe, but that only made it sexier.”
Lauren, a 28-year-old hotel manager, says a boyfriend once set up a scavenger hunt for her in which she found cutesy presents at each stage—but she wished it’d had a sexy theme. “I’m obsessed with the idea now,” she says. “I want someone to send me on a hunt where I pick up toys or little things that make me feel sexy along the way—chocolate body paint, furry handcuffs, a picture of his dick—and then at the end, I get to find him in bed, and we go crazy. Guys have vivid imaginations about sex—why don’t they do this all the time?”
O Come, All Ye Faithful
Ultimately, most women said the best gift you can give them any day is an earth-shattering orgasm. And the best way to do that is to shift all your focus onto her in bed. Haven, a 28-year-old financial consultant, asked her boyfriend for an experiential gift last Christmas. He responded by taking her to an orgasm seminar. “I was so turned on that he chose something that included him learning more about what excites me,” she says. “Ever since, he’s been really listening to what feels good. That’s made me feel more sexual, and he’s totally reaping the rewards. I’m hornier than ever.”
For Hadass, a 31-year-old personal shopper, that kind of sexual surrender is exactly what she wants for the holidays. “I sometimes worry about being the center of attention in bed,” she says, “which makes it hard for me to come. My fantasy is for a guy to let me know that my orgasm is his only mission. He’d go down on me and start with fluttering strokes of his tongue, then move to meatier ones, and then he’d tease me by stroking fast and then pausing until I couldn’t take it anymore.”
See? Women are easier to please than you think. It might take a little creativity and effort to give her the holiday present she deserves, but master the art of giving in bed and you’ll earn goodwill the whole year through.