Based on the popular blog of the same name and written by food blogger and author Josh Scherer in his one-of-a-kind voice, "The Culinary Bro-Down Cookbook" features more than 75 original recipes divided into the 10 “brossential” food groups like Beer, Fried Things, Tacos, Struggle Snacks (for bros on a budget), and Flame-Kissed Meat. Check out his mouth-watering recipe for mac 'n' cheese chimichangas below:
It still baffles me how few chimichangas we eat as a society. It’s probably a good thing considering everyone’s fat and all. But, still, it seems suspicious that a food this good has been suppressed for this long. Neither Taco Bell nor Del Taco has a single chimichanga on their menu, and, even though Chipotle has a deep-fryer on site, they won’t drop your burrito in it, and their manager will be very rude and ask you to leave when you start screaming at the guy working the chip station.
I think we need to start converting more of our foods into deep-fried burritos. Doing it with a dope-ass poblano-and-bacon mac and cheese is a good gateway into the lifestyle, but don’t stop there. Next time you’re eating some tasty food, ask yourself: “Can I wrap this in a tortilla and fry it?” If the answer is yes, do it. If the answer is no, do it.
Our self-imposed chimichanga deprivation is just the tip of the iceberg though—a symptom of the problem rather than the epidemic itself. There are tons of opportunities we’re missing to maximize the collective dopeness of food.
For instance, every time you’re sipping on a bowl of sausage gravy, ask yourself: “Why isn’t there any beer in this delicious animal juice?” Or if you’re grilling up some chicken wings, stop and really examine the question: “Why haven’t these bird parts been brined in Red Bull?” (seriously, it’s way better than you think it is.)
Check out this recipe and a whole lot more endearingly depraved creations in the Culinary Bro-Down Cookbook, available on Amazon now.
- Bunch of canola, vegetable, or peanut oil
- 1 large poblano pepper
- 6 strips bacon
- 1 tablespoon flour
- 2 cups whole milk
- 10 slices of the plastic-wrapped American cheese, torn into pieces
- 8 ounces sharp cheddar, shredded
- 1 teaspoon salt
- ½ teaspoon black pepper
- ½ pound macaroni noodles, cooked
- 4 large tortillas
- Ranch dressing, for serving
1. Heat your oil to 375°F in a Dutch oven, preferably cast iron. Deseed, de-stem, and de-stick your poblano. Give it a small dice. Also, dice up the bacon quite small.
2. Heat a large nonstick saucepot on medium heat and render your bacon for 5 minutes or so. When the bacon is no longer raw—but don’t wait until it’s super-crispy—add your poblano dice. Sauté for about 5 minutes, until the poblano is soft and the bacon is cooked.
3. Keeping the pan on medium heat, add the flour. Use a wooden spoon to combine and cook for 2 minutes. Add the milk and use a whisk to, eh, whisk it. Continuously whisk until the mixture has come up to a bubble. Add both of the cheeses, the salt, and black pepper and keep whisking—never stop whisking—until the cheese is melted. Stir in the macaroni and continue to cook for another 2 minutes. You may have to add some more milk to loosen it up. Turn off the heat.
4. Heat a large nonstick pan on high heat. When it’s adequately hot, throw in a tortilla. Let it griddle for about 10 seconds on both sides. Repeat. Keep the pan on medium heat. See why next!
5. Spoon a good amount of mac and/or cheese into the center of a tortilla, then roll it on up, making extra sure to tuck in the sides. Keep your fingers on the crease—where the tortilla ends its wrap—then place the crease down onto the hot pan. This is going to help seal it and eliminate your chances of dying in a not-so-freak chimichanga frying accident. (Chimichanga accidents take more lives every year than shark attacks. This is probably not true.) Repeat with the remaining tortillas and mac and cheese.
6. When all your burritos are properly burrito-ed, jam four or five toothpicks along the main tortilla fold and two toothpicks in each end to make sure it all holds together. Safety first!
7. One at a time, drop each one in the hot oil for about 30 seconds, until the tortilla becomes golden brown and starts to puff a bit. Pull out of the oil and let drain on paper towels. Serve with ranch. Serve most things with ranch, honestly. Fuckin’ love ranch.
Excerpted from the book THE CULINARY BRO-DOWN COOKBOOK by Josh Scherer. Copyright © 2017 by Josh Scherer. Reprinted with permission of Grand Central Life & Style. All rights reserved.