9 Essential Rules To Drink Wine Like a Billionaire

Wine expert Mark Oldman reveals how to live large while drinking smart.

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Mark Oldman (photo: Jiyang Chen)

Mark Oldman, former wine correspondent for the Food Network and noted connoisseur of all things vinous, has penned the ultimate guide to drinking wine like a billionaire on a normal budget. 

In How to Drink Like a Billionaire: Mastering Wine with Joie de Vivre, available for pre-order on Amazon, Oldman “distills his vast knowledge of wines into this easy-to-read, humorous” guide, complete with “in-depth how-to’s on everything from tasting, swirling, and buying wine the way billionaires do” —but without the price tag.

(Photo: Jiyang Chen)

Here are his 9 essential wine rules for Maxim readers:

1. “Avoid wine by the glass. If your table plans to drink three or more glasses of wine, it’s less expensive to order a bottle.”

2. “A wine’s price is often inversely proportional to how easy it is to pronounce. Chardonnay is rarely a good deal, but the Moschofilero and Gewürztraminer have to be virtually given away.”

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3. “Your go-to red in an Italian restaurant should be Primitivo. It is a low-cost, unpretentious, luscious red from Italy’s sunny south. Everyone loves it.”

4. “To smoke out the gems on a wine list, ask your server what the chef drinks when he or she is off-duty.”

5. “When at home, designate a ‘house white,’ ‘house red,’ and ‘house bubbly’ – and call them that.”

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6. “When giving wine as a gift, attach an explanatory note and a ‘consume by’ expiration date. It makes the gift more special and encourages the recipient to seize the day.”

7. “Never fear dropping ice in a glass of everyday wine, even if it is red. Drinking your reds a bit cooler will focus the flavors. All the pros do it.”

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8. “Visit wineries that require a reservation. You are more likely to have a special experience there, as you are if you signal your intention to buy something during your visit.”

9. “Any wine shop or restaurant stocking Beaujolais Nouveau in July works for the forces of darkness. It goes flat by March or April.”