Maxim’s Best Bits [10/7-10/11]

It’s Friday, which means we’re pretending to work until someone unlocks these chains to our desks. Here are some of our top posts from the week of October 7.

Photographed for Maxim by Nino Munoz | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013

Girls with Wood

We’ve never gotten this excited over wood! You know what we mean.

5 Suggestions for the Inevitable Government Shutdown Porn Parody

Because face it, political gridlock makes some people hot.

Comedian Dylan Moran’s Guide To What Not To Say In The Office

Unless your office is in an awesome movie, of course.

5 Times the Air Bud Franchise Out-Crazied Itself

Sometimes, a basketball-playing dog just isn’t good enough.

6 Things You Should Know Before Entering a Small Penis Contest

Just in case you ever need this information. You know, like…for a friend.

How To Tell A Girl You Enjoy Blumpkins Using Sign Language

As well as nine other awesomely disgusting expressions.

6 More Appropriate Names for Strippers

Let’s get a little accuracy into those gentlemen’s joints.

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