This Is The Absolute Best Time Of Day To Have Sex, According To Science

Rise and shine!

No matter when you do it, sex is sex, and it’s great.

Nighttime sex? Fantastic. Afternoon delight? Cheeky and delightful. Drunk and sloppy 2 a.m. sex? The best.

But did you know that a roll in the hay first thing in the morning might be the best kind of sex there is? Yeah, according to a team of researchers, a quick morning nookie can get your endorphins pumping, put you in a great mood, and help you get through the day.

I’m sure all you morning sex enthusiasts out there have already figured this out on your own, but scientists finally caught up with you. And it’s about damn time.

In a study of 1,000 people, researchers at Forza Supplements revealed the ideal times to indulge in the greatest pleasures of life, ranging from eating, to boozing, to knockin’ boots.

Before we get to the goodies, let’s start with the essentials: when you should go to bed, and when you should wake up. Apparently, the best time to hit the hay is 10:10pm, because the most restorative non-REM sleep occurs before midnight, which is essential for tissue repair, immune health, and bone and muscle growth. In other words, it’s really fucking healthy.

And in the morning, you should scrape your sleepy ass out of bed at 6:45am, because waking up early makes you more proactive, a better problem solver (really), and establishes good circadian rhythm.

Besides, you know what they say…early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.

Next, let’s talk about food. The best time to have breakfast was revealed to be bright and early at 7:15, lunch should be eaten around 12:15, and dinner at 6:10, in order to keep your metabolism humming nicely.

Next up: booze o’clock. For the sake of a good night’s sleep and a healthy liver, you should try to knock back those pints at 6 in the evening, around four hours before going to bed. You know, to give your liver time to clean up your bloodstream. 

And finally, we get to the good stuff…sex!

Apparently, the best time to have sex is at 7:30 in the morning, about 45 minutes after the optimal time to wake up. Rise and grind, my dude!

The researchers say (early) morning sex is simply fantastic because it lowers blood pressure and reduces stress, thereby preparing you for the horse shit you’ll face during the day.

But nonetheless, don’t let science tell you when to have sex. You’re an independent man with an independent dick, and you can use it whenever the hell you want.