An adorable capuchin monkey named Chico managed to swill enough cachaça from a bar in Teixeira, Brazil to get a rip-roaring drunk on before grabbing a wicked-looking butcher knife and went buck-ass wild. The resulting footage is simultaneously hilarious and horrifying.
Russia Today reported that immediately before the start of this video, which captured the adorable little criminal tearing up roofing tiles as surprised and delighted-sounding women call out to him, the monkey had been aggressive toward bar patrons. Text accompanying the video specified that the monkey had been menacing male bar patrons and leaving women alone. The monkey was in fact gentle with female customers, even climbing on one woman's shoulders.
Officials called to the scene somehow managed to disarm our tiny redneck cousin without further incident. He has been in the custody of the Brazilian Institute of Environment and Renewable Natural Resources since his rampage ended
Authorities are still trying to figure out the best thing to do with Chico, as RT reported he has threatened children in the past. Maybe they should start with making sure Chico stays the hell away from the cachaça.