You guys! I learned a new word today: futurologist. As in, "there's a futurologist in the UK who thinks by 2050, we'll be sexing up robots more often than people." Yes, there is a job out there that consists purely of making predictions about the future. Bonus: you may not live long enough for anyone to prove you wrong!
But let's get back to the pressing issue at hand: robot sex. In a recent report released by Dr. Ian Pearson in conjunction with the UK sex toy company Bondara, we see some eyebrow-raising prognostications about what the future of sex might hold.
First, a look at the sick cover graphics.
Pearson's logic (which, it's worth noting, is backed by no formal data) suggests the path to full robo-boning is linear and already in the works. Technology like Google Glass will become more common, evolving into neuro implants that will give us orgasms at the touch of a button. Virtual reality, too, will improve, helping develop our taste for cyber nookie.
Sex toys are no stranger to integrating our advancements in technology, as evidenced by this Apple Watch vibrator and this disembodied twerking butt. Combine that tech growth with our insatiable need to create an increasingly lifelike bedroom buddy and Pearson's projections may not be so far from the truth.
Naturally, as any good scientist does, he accounts for social privilege in his findings: wealthy one-percenters could have fully fledged sex robots in their home as early as 2025. By 2030, virtual reality sex toys will be commonplace, and by 2050, human-robot sex will be more common than human-human sex.
But if all this leaves you thinking: "Stop trying to make robosexual happen, it's not going to happen," why not join the campaign against robot sex? I hear they're taking new members...