I’m going to let you in on a little secret: massages are sexy. I mean, what’s not hot about running your hands all over a woman’s body and making her feel good? Nothing. Everything about it is sexy.
Fun fact: There’s even an entire genre of porn about massages gone wild, which means a sensual massage has a lot of potential to turn real sexy, real fast.
But then again, there are also porn genres about real estate agents getting frisky, and people in creepy animal costumes (i.e. furries), so realistically, it would appear as though anything and everything has the potential to turn into sex.
Anyway, you don’t have to be a professional masseuse to give an amazing massage, because let’s face it, not many of us know a goddamn thing about pressure points and back-rubbing technique. But the beauty of giving a massage is that you can just squeeze and knead random parts of her body, and it’ll feel good anyway!
And when you think about it, it's not difficult to figure out that running your hands all over your girlfriend's naked body is probably going to lead to sex, which is why I spoke to tantric massage expert Candice Leigh, who recently taught an entire workshop on erotic massages at New York's naughty club NSFW, about how to execute the perfect sensual massage that will definitely lead to sex.
I hope you'll find this as illuminating as I did.
1. Set the mood.
Just as candles and music set the mood during sex and make everything feel 10 times sexier, you can be damn sure that a little mood music and a couple candles are going to take your sexy massage to the next level, too.
Science has shown that vanilla is one of the sexiest scents ever, which means you can never go wrong with a vanilla-scented candle. So, light one of those, put on a playlist of sex-tastic tunes, and get down to business.
Or, if you have an Amazon Echo, you can use its new feature and tell Alexa you’re feeling sexy, or for it to “set the mood,” and it’ll put on a sexy playlist for you. We’re living in the future, folks.
2. Use massage oils.
When it comes to sex stuff, everything is better when its slippery, which is why you shouldn’t forego massage oils. Seriously – when in doubt, lube things up.
But when I say to use oils, I don’t mean to drown her in it like you’re marinating a flank steak. You only need a little bit – just a few drops on your hands to start with, and add more if you want a little more slipperiness.
If you’re going to give her a literal full-body massage, a.k.a. including her lady bits, Candice suggests using coconut oil. You know, because it smells good, it's natural, and it won’t throw off her pH level down there.
3. Treat the massage like foreplay.
Fact: Women love foreplay.
Also fact: Many of us don’t pay enough attention to this very important part of sex, therefore it doesn't last as long as it should.
And this, my friends, is why a sensual massage is a great precursor to sex. You're literally feeling her up with oils, you're getting her relaxed and in a totally zen state of mind, and you just happen to be touching her erogenous zones over and over again, so it's basically guaranteed to turn naughty pretty swiftly.
"Women’s arousal sometimes takes longer, and sometimes a man may be at his maximum arousal state, but the woman may only be half way there," Candice says, implying all dudes should take note of this brute truth.
"Erotic and sensual touch can provide so much unintentional foreplay: she is breathing, slowing down her mind, relaxing more into her body by having her whole body touched, and by the time her partner is stimulating her nipples, labia, clitoris -- she most likely is at her maximum arousal state. Her experience and desire for sex may be twice as great!"
4. Take your time.
In life, there are certain things you really, really shouldn’t rush. For instance, a blossoming relationship, foreplay, or a delightful chocolate soufflé in the oven. If you push it and try to make it work before it’s ready, it’s going to be complete shit.
And just like those arbitrary examples stated above, you shouldn’t rush a sexy massage, either.
“When giving or receiving an erotic or sensual massage, let there be so much time and spaciousness for not only the entire experience, but with each body part,” Candice advises.
“Each body part, erogenous or not, deserves equal time and attention. Taking the entire body into consideration will promote full body orgasms and profound sensational states."
5. Don't try to make her orgasm A.S.A.P.
Sure, I get it, you want to make her orgasm. As good as it feels for her, you feel like your ego is giving you a pat on the back when you manage to get her off.
However, as I said before, do. not. rush. it. Just focus on touching her, see how she's responding to your touch, and just try to enjoy everything that's happening.
“Let not the goal be to orgasm, but to enjoy all the moments that lead up to it. the whole experience is orgasmic, not just the actual orgasm.
"Sensual bodywork on its own can be the sexual experience, or the appetizer that leads to sex or other play. Sensual bodywork can be erotic, steamy, playful, silly, but can also illicit a depth of emotion and memory that lives and rests in our genitals if we have the time, sensitivity, and patience to explore it."
With some parting advice on the importance of touch, the founder and 'Chief Conspirator' of NSFW, Daniel Saynt, says: "It’s important for us to practice touch in such a touch free-world. Technology distances us and forces communications that don't connect us to the healing power of touch.
"The "How to Touch" class (which Candice taught) was designed to combat that behavior and encourage sexual and non-sexual touch between consenting partners."
And that, my dudes, is why we should all be giving and receiving massages all the damn time. It feels good, it brings us closer to our partner, and it helps us have sex. What's not to love?