But even if you didn’t get off in honor of the holiday, it’s okay. You should just celebrate a day late and rub one out now. In fact, you should masturbate and/or have sex a couple times a week, because it’ll make you live longer. I’m totally serious.
In honor of National Orgasm Day, LELO conducted a massive global survey with over 2,200 respondents from 21 different countries, in order to find out which countries have the most, best, and loudest orgasms.
First off, the horniest country in the world was found to be Norway, with 35 percent of Norwegians saying they cum at least once a day. Well, shit. No wonder Norway is the happiest country in the world. They know what’s up.
And clearly, Scandinavia in general knows what’s up, because 41 percent of Swedes reported having orgasms two to three times per week. Not as often as Norwegians, but still pretty remarkable. Maybe there’s something about cold weather that turns people on...?
Next up, the survey found that the most intense orgasms, a.k.a. those orgasms that are so earth-shattering that they temporarily blind you as your soul leaves through your dick, happen in Chile, Italy, and Spain, with 10 to 13 percent of respondents from those countries rating the power of their orgasms within the highest percentile. Well done, guys.
Speaking of intensity, 28 percent of Americans rated their orgasm intensity 7 out of 10, which isn't bad. That's the high side of mediocre, but I'm sure we can do better.
Brazilians turned out to be the loudest in bed, with 65 percent claiming to be very, very vocal, followed by Norwegians (Again!) with 39.9 percent saying they’re screamers, and in third, Croatians, with 34.78 percent.
On the other hand, you can find the quietest climaxers in Portugal, with 42 percent claiming to be quiet during sex, and in Australia, where 34.78 percent of respondents say they’re pretty quiet in the sack.
Now for the sad stats: the least intense orgasms were reported by Australia, where 2 percent rated their orgasms 1 out of 10. However, Aussies ranked third in frequency of orgasms, so I guess it kind of makes up for the lack in intensity.
Furthermore, 2.54 percent of Germans reported never having had an orgasm before, which is really, really sad…but you know what’s even worse? Fifteen percent of Canadians also say they’ve never had an orgasm before.
Well, that's too bad. I truly hope all those people who have never had an orgasm will get to experienced that divine bliss at some point.
"The results of this survey seem to throw all stereotypes out the bedroom window and defy all preconceptions," the folks at LELO wrote on their blog. "Who’d have thought that a third of the population of Norway have at least one orgasm every day?
"Isn’t it strange that the US doesn’t seem to stand out in any extreme, remaining in the middle of most of the groups throughout the results? Time to throw out those old clichés."