Reboot Your Life: Health
Eat less, work out. That’s how to lose weight, in a nutshell.
Fad diets don’t work. Workouts that say they’re going to give you rock-hard abs in 15 days don’t work. The only thing that works is going to the gym and eating more healthily: Sorry to break it to you, but it’s true. That’s why we’ve put a year’s worth of advice together to help you come to terms with it, and get in shape in 2011.
The beginner’s guide to surviving the gym because just buying a membership won’t take the fat off that ass.
Free weights? Communal showers? The constant risk of a crippling injury? The gym is like prison for middle-class people! If it’s your first time, here’s how to survive it:
• Start slow and don’t go near the weights until you’ve spent a couple of weeks building up your stamina on the treadmill.
• Don’t make, “Nyynnnaarghhh!” noises when you’re lifting weights. If it’s too heavy to lift without screaming, use less weight.
• For a good, balanced workout, try 15 minutes of cardio (bike, treadmill, etc.), then some weights, and finish with 15 to 20 minutes of cardio.
• Never make eye contact with another man in the shower.
• With weights, match the number of reps to the body type you want: three sets of three to five reps with heavy weights for power; three sets of 10 to 15 reps with lighter weights for muscle building; and
three sets of 15 to 20 reps with smaller weights for stamina.
• Checking yourself out in the mirror between every set is a dick move.
• Stretch out dynamically (not statically) before and after exercising or you’ll end up really stiff or, worse, in traction.
The Situation’s Six-Point Six-Pack Suggestions
Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino tells you his ab-tastic secrets:
1. “Getting rock-hard abs like mine doesn’t happen overnight—it takes commitment. ‘G’ comes first in ‘GTL’—that’s prioritizing, which is why I hit the gym at least five days a week.”
2. “The Situation is all about mixing it up. Start with some cardio, like dancing in the club to your favorite beats, and then work in a combination of ab-focused moves like side planks and crunches.”
3. “A sexy stomach comes from more than just exercise; I also gotta watch what I eat! I’m Italian, so I like my pasta, but I balance it out with lots of healthy foods that are high in protein.”
4. “Don’t get bored with your routine! Shake things up when you’re doing your ab exercises. Try doing a variation of the usual crunch by making it a mountain climber oblique crunch/push-up or some reverse-crunch leg lifts. This way you’re keeping things fresh while you get your abs ready to attract some fine ladies.”
5. “You have to keep an eye on your diet—low salt and sugar. Try not to eat junk food and soda too much, and eat lean meats, fruits, and veggies as much as possible. We all cheat on our diets, but you have to be on point!”
6. “You want your own Situation? It’s not gonna be easy, but you can give it a shot by checking out my new workout DVD, The Situation Workout [out now], which features a bonus exercise that reveals my never-before-seen recipe for amazing abs.”
Super Bowl Superfoods
The Food Network’s dietitian, Dana Angelo White, on eating at game time:
“People assume chili’s greasy and bad for you, but it’s not. There’s a ton of protein from both the meat and the beans, plus the beans provide healthy carbs and fiber. It’s the number one Super Bowl superfood.”
Rock the Guac
“Onions and jalapeños are fine on your chili, but replace the sour cream and cheese with guacamole. It tastes awesome and has the same texture as sour cream. Gauc is a superfood, as it’s packed with good fat.”
“Drinking water instead of beer at the game is bullshit! But here’s the secret: Watch your sodium intake. The more salt you consume, the more you’ll drink, and thus the more calories you’ll swallow. So replace those potato chips with tortillas and salsa.”
“People shovel pretzels in because they have less fat and salt than chips do, but that’s the pretzel trap: People tend to overindulge and end up eating themselves out of any benefit.”
Snow Day Workout
Rihanna’s personal trainer, Ary NuÑez, on home workouts:
(for shoulders, arms, upper back, chest, and core)
“With feet on edge of couch, get into push-up position, right hand on a foot-high stack of books, left hand on the floor. Do a push-up, then, keeping your body rigid, swing your right arm to the floor and place your left atop the stack and do another push-up. Do three sets of 32 reps, and every time you go down, go low enough to kiss the floor. Or, if you’re a wuss, put your girl under you and kiss her. It’s easier!”
Couch-Corner Dead lifts
(for glutes and core)
“Stand with feet shoulder width apart and squat in front of a corner of the couch, back flat and face forward. Grab under the couch with an under-
hand grip, hands shoulder width apart, and, keeping the back straight, stand up. Once hips and knees straighten, return to squat position. Do three sets of 16 reps, and remember: The key to back-pain-free dead lifts is pressing up through your heels when rising.”
(for fast-twitch muscles)
Hit the snowy sidewalk! Grab a shovel with both hands, extending your arms and keeping your back straight. Stay low and drive a lane of snow 20 yards as fast as you can. Always drive through the hips—it’s just like a football sled. Attack!