Eager Stoner Arrested for Trying to Score Drugs in the Worst Possible Way
A man in Florida is suffering the consequences of clumsy thumbs.
Pressing “send” on a risky message is much like a game of Russian Roulette. For instance, you could be DTF, but a slight stumble of the fingers means you’ve sent a late-night invitation to your grandma.
A man in Martin County, Fla., man, 29-year-old William Lambertson allegedly discovered as much when sending a test message to a “bro” he thought would be able to hook him up with some tasty buds. The two had met innocently enough at a 7-Eleven, and it seems the prospect of meeting for a smoke was raised. However, the Floridian in question either recorded his acquaintance’s number incorrectly or didn’t double-check before sending.
In what looks to be a merciless case of divine reckoning, the man instead texted the narcotics captain of the Martin County Sheriff’s Office. Below, their fateful encounter:
SUSPECT: Hey Bro.
COP: Who is this?
SUSPECT: ‘Its Will, remember we met at 7-11’ ‘LOL”
COP: What’s up
SUSPECT: Not much dude wanna smoke so bad u have any green
COP: I don’t know you. Send me a pic.
SUSPECT: hey bro what good wit ya
COP: How much to lookin for
SUSPECT: Was just saying whassup lol
Now, things go from bad to worse:
COP: Lol. Whassup. Chillin here. You got any hooks for sum blow
SUSPECT: I actually do man. Lol
COP: Can you get me an 8
SUSPECT: too =) and it’s a solid connect too u looking for a ball
COP: Yah man. Hook a brotha up
SUSPECT: OK I gotchu bro. They’re all bagged up in .6 bags that cool
SUSPECT: I just gotta swing thru my boys house. Its not stomped on either
The unwitting stoner took the bait, and on Sept. 1 headed out to do the deal. Instead, he was arrested by narcotics detectives from the Martin County Sheriff’s Office. He has since been charged with possession of cocaine with intent to sell.
Still no word from The Ellen Show on whether or not this will be featured on a segment of Clumsy Thumbsy, but we’re pretty sure this never happened to Pablo Escobar.
Photos by Getty Images