This Is How to Keep Your Sex Life Ultra Satisfying, According to Science

To keep the spark alive, spice things up a bit.


(Photo: Getty)

Are you in a romantic relationship with an amazing woman? If yes, great! I’m happy for you. But has the passion been lacking in the bedroom and is your sex life a little lackluster? Fret not, my dude. Let’s rectify the situation.

As explained by sexpert Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a massive study of 40,000 people found that there are five big differences between couples who always have hot, passionate sex, and couples who long ago lost that flame. 

Those who keep the passion alive in the bedroom are more likely to do these five key things:

  1. Spend time setting the mood
  2. Practice sexual communication
  3. Receive oral sex
  4. Be happier with their relationship in general
  5. Engage in more acts of sexual variety

In other words, couples who have amazing sex lives actually make an effort. They set the mood by lighting some candles and putting on sexy music, they talk to each other to make sure the sex is A+, they give head even if they don’t particularly enjoy putting their mouths on each other’s genitals (looking at you, men), and they try new and different things in the bedroom to keep things exciting. Variety is the spice of life!

Speaking of variety, Lehmiller highlights the importance of this, explaining that “we have a tendency to grow tired of sexual routines, while sexual novelties can reawaken our interest in sex.” 

The reason for this boils down to one simple thing: Dopamine, which is the neurotransmitter that’s directly related to the reward and pleasure center of your brain. As the name suggests, dopamine is dope. It’s what makes things feel good. 

Drake agrees.

When you fall into a routine with your partner and your sex life becomes a little too predictable, your brain literally gets bored of doing the same thing over and over again, so it releases less and less dopamine each time, making the sex feel subpar at best. 

That’s precisely why adding a little novelty to the boudoir is one of the best things you can do for your relationship, because when you try something new, your brain is all “Woaaah that’s exciting! Me likeyand releases a rush of dopamine.

And what better way to find out what types of sexual variety keep the torch of passion burning than by taking a peek at what the most satisfied couples are going during sexytime? Here’s what the 40,000 people in the study had to say:

(Lehmiller/Journal of Sex Research)

As you can see in the table above, one of the easiest and most effective ways to add a subtle bit of spice to your sex routine is to start off with a sensual massage. I mean, massages are sexy. There’s just something hella hot about running your hands all over your woman’s naked body and making her feel good, which is also why massages often lead to amazing sex.

Furthermore, sexy lingerie also proves to be one of the key ingredients to a passionate and satisfying sex life, as well as taking a steamy shower together (shower sex, anyone?), planning a date night, and trying out some new sex positions. 

Next on the list is going on a romantic getaway together, which I’ll gladly elaborate on. A recent study by Travelocity found that 56 percent of people agree that the best way to keep the spark alive with your boo is to go on vacation together, probably get drunk, and proceed to have amazing hotel sex.

All of these things are super easy to incorporate into your life, so if the passion is lacking, give some of these a try. Doing that extra something special will be well worth it for both of you. 

H/T: Lehmiller