When it comes to impressing women on Tinder or Bumble or GlutenFreeSingles, or whatever app you prefer to use, there are many subtleties you need to pay attention to if you want to avoid getting that dreaded left-swipe.
For starters, you should know that ladies hate dudes who wear cargo shorts and watch anime. Don’t do those things. If you absolutely must do either, try to do so in the privacy of a dark closet where no one can see you, and then never talk about it. Ever.
On the other hand, women get hot and bothered for men who drink PBR, eat health foods like dandelion greens, and dress like they're about to play croquet in Martha's Vineyard. Make sure to play up those things on your profile.
Aside from those fun facts, did you know that there’s one major thing (most) women value over all else? Yup, more than good looks, humor, honesty, etc., chicks dig a man with a fat wallet. In other words, they like ‘em rich.
According to a new study of 2,000 online daters from Discover Financial Services and Match Media Group, it was found that that good credit scores are sexier than any other characteristic or good virtue you may have.
Sure, it’s cool that you volunteered with the Peace Corps in Senegal for four years, and that you’re 6’4 and look like you just walked off the set of an Armani underwear photo shoot, but you’re useless unless you have lots of $$$.
You know what they say: Money talks, bullshit walks.
In the study, 69 percent of respondents rated financial responsibility as an extremely important quality in a potential lover, followed by sense of humor with 67 percent of the vote, attractiveness with 51 percent, ambition with 50 percent, courage with 42 percent, and lastly, modesty with 39 percent.
As you can clearly see, moola makes the panties drop faster than a well-executed joke, a devilishly handsome face, washboard abs, or a fantastic personality. Eh, what can I say? Everyone loves financial stability. Human evolution is quite literally based around it.
You might be thinking to yourself, “Fuck me sideways, women are shallower than I would have ever thought. Shameless gold diggers!” but let me stop you right there and attempt to elaborate and justify what’s going on.
The women in the study who chose financial stability as the most important quality in a man said they did so because they associated a good credit score and lots of funds in the bank with responsibility, trustworthiness, and intelligence. And let’s be real here: women want a smart, trustworthy man to settle down with. It’s in our DNA to want that.
And get this – it isn’t just the ladies who want someone with a fat bank account. Apparently, 61 percent of men also found financial stability and a great credit score to be extremely sexy.
“If you’ve got a pretty good credit score, you probably have other good personality traits,” says biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, Match.com’s chief scientific adviser and a senior research fellow at the Kinsey Institute.
“You’re not only managing your money, you’re managing your family, your friends. You’re kind of a managing person. It says a lot more about you than a fancy car.”
True dat. As Rihanna once said, “Bitch better have my money.”