NFL Week 12: Thanksgiving Day Triple Header Is Must-Bet Football on MaximBet
Maximize your Turkey Day with wagers on the Bears Vs. Lions, Raiders Vs. Cowboys & Bills Vs. Saints.
I think we all see what’s on the proverbial Thanksgiving table and, frankly, I’m not feeling very thankful about it.
The New England Patriots have taken control of the AFC East (favorites to win the division at MaximBet) thanks to a Buffalo Bills team that forgot they were supposed to be a Super Bowl favorite. And in spite of Tom Brady morphing into a turnover machine, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers remain in control of the NFC South, so the Saints ain’t going nowhere fast.
You, me, America and all of human civilization fear the exact same thing at this point; the worst possible no-win scenario. Our very own NFL version of the Kobayashi Maru, except Captain James T. Kirk can’t hack the system to override it before hooking up with the nearest hot three-breasted alien.
Yeah, I’m talking about a New England Patriots vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers Super Bowl. At this point, this nightmare is something we all need to lean into. Prepare ourselves for. You don’t want to wake up on Super Bowl Sunday with the realization that, regardless of the outcome, either Tom Brady or Bill Belichick will win another ring.
You want to be ready for that. Girded up ahead of time. And have all the booze on-hand to help get you through it.
But, hey, there are things to be thankful for. Specifically, the odds and moneymaking opportunities presented by MaximBet for the three Thanksgiving Day games you’ll attempt to watch, but eventually fall asleep to as they buzz in the background thanks to your tryptophan-induced food coma.
Let’s see if we can’t get three Turkey Day NFL games to pay for all those Black Friday purchases you’re about to make.
Chicago Bears (-3.5) at Detroit Lions
Here’s a little fun tidbit. Neither of these teams, as bad as they are, expect their starting quarterbacks to suit up due to injuries. For the Bears, that means the “Red Rifle” Andy Dalton will once again fire balls directly into the turf while Detroit could go with Tim Boyle, David Blough or any other random assemblage of letters I could put together that sound exactly as much like real human names as those two.
Either way, I don’t trust the points so…
Take the Bears moneyline at -180.
Las Vegas Raiders at Dallas Cowboys (-7)
A little over a month ago, this matchup looked fantastic. Now you just hope the Raiders can field enough guys not looking at possible prison terms.
The Cowboys are coming off an embarrassing loss to the Kansas City Chiefs where their offense scored a measly nine points. And you and I both know what that means… Mike McCarthy was sick of Kellen Moore getting all the play-calling love and decided to get “more involved.”
Regardless, Las Vegas has to be looking for the sim to the end-of-the-season button on Madden right now. Dallas still has hope for something — probably an opening round playoff loss.
Take the Cowboys at -7.
Buffalo Bills (-4.5) at New Orleans Saints
No team has done more to disappoint fans and fold table retailers this season than the Buffalo Bills, where once no plywood or rough plastic disposable table was safe. Now they go unbroken and un-smashed as the Bills have managed to piss away their early-season success, losing three of their last five games.
The surplus of undamaged folding tables in upstate New York has to be at Rex Ryan levels at this point.
Meanwhile the Saints made news this week signing the most boring gimmick in the NFL, Taysom Hill, to a new contract that could be worth as much as $95 million, if he ever becomes the starting quarterback. Yes, I realize that sentence is probably funnier than anything I’ve written before in this column.
I like Buffalo to win, but not cover. Not on the road on a short week against a legit Saints defense.
Take the Saints at +4.5.
Adam Greene is @TheFirstMan on Twitter.
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