NFL Week 9: The Best Betting Odds And Predictions from MaximBet

Can the Packers beat the Chiefs with Aaron Rodgers sidelined by COVID-19?

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Last week we were betrayed. I could look deep inside and blame myself, but much like Aaron Rodgers is doing right now suffering from COVID-19 after his “immunization” plan of getting a shaman to bless a ball of sacred clay and a purple crystal somehow didn’t protect him from the most infectious and communicable disease to attack the human race in a century, I’m going to place the buck elsewhere. 

The Cincinnati Bengals weren’t ready to be a lock (lost outright to a pitiful Jets team with a backup quarterback as 11-point favorites at MaximBet). Being a good team is still new to them. They have no practice in what it takes to be a franchise that we, bettors, can count on week to week. It’ll come in time and they’ll still finish the year strong, but I don’t think I can trust them with what’s really important: our money. 

I’m 6-2 on locks and 6-2 on upsets and, for most people, that would be great. Not me. My only goal here is perfection. It’s why I took a scientifically proven vaccine with a recent booster and not some “holistic” alternative probably smudged into my face by a woman who thinks her cat talks to her in her dreams. 

I can’t believe I have to write this down for adults to read, but you shouldn’t adopt medical practices that originate in countries where you could not safely drink the tap water. No matter how hot your girlfriend is.

So, with that in mind I’ve scoured the this week’s NFL odds at MaximBet to deliver to you my hand selected, but not holistic, picks for Week 9.

Lock Of The Week

Minnesota Vikings at Baltimore Ravens (-6)

The Ravens had a bye week to think about how badly they got dominated by a Bengals team that just dropped a game to the Jets. While Baltimore will likely see similar defensive concepts when the Vikings come to town Sunday, Minnesota doesn’t have the personnel and, frankly, I don’t understand why this line is so low. 

One caveat here, since we’re talking vaccination status. As far as I know while I’m writing this, neither Lamar Jackson nor Kirk Cousins have taken the shot. 

What they have obviously done is been very careful and followed the NFL’s protocols unlike Rodgers, who violated everything, lied to the press about his vaccine status and then spent Halloween either catching the coronavirus or spreading to everyone attending his party while dressed as John Wick.

The big difference between Rodgers and Wick being that, Wick, seeking revenge for his dead dog, goes on a criminal killing spree while Rodgers spent the evening trying to take out everyone’s grandparents. 

The point is, I’m writing this early and the situation can change, but as I see it now…

Take the Ravens and the points.

Worst Games Of The Week

Houston Texans at Miami Dolphins (-6.5)

New England Patriots (-3.5) at Carolina Panthers 

We’ve got a couple of regular worst gamers here, with a third consecutive appearance by the Panthers and a Texans return after taking a couple of weeks off.

Tua Tagovailoa got to cancel his U-Haul order after the Dolphins couldn’t close the deal with the Texans on Deshaun Watson, so he’s got to be feeling pretty loved right now. Watson, of course, still won’t play and my guess is that Tyrod Taylor won’t see the field either, as Houston is in a pitched battle with the Detroit Lions for the No. 1 overall pick and has already effed up its chances by winning a single game. 

That means we’ll get Davis Mills again, and don’t be fooled by the 22 points he put on the Los Angeles Rams last week. It was all in the fourth quarter when the Rams put in their preseason roster up 38-0.

The Pats are coming off their biggest win of the year, a victory over a legitimate team in the L.A. Chargers. The Panthers can’t say the same as they knocked off an Atlanta Falcons squad that has made losing weirdly an artform. And I’m not talking about real art, but one of those wacky performance pieces you accidentally stumble upon in the park while trying to find a trash receptacle to dump a plastic bag of fresh dog shit. 

Oh, but hey, Christian McCaffrey could be back and that could lead to a very exciting first half until he re-injures his hamstring and hobbles off to the locker room midway through the second quarter. 

Take the Dolphins at -6.5 and/or the Patriots moneyline at -182.

A Shocking Upset Of The Kansas City Chiefs

Jordan Love gets to make his first start for the Packers. And until Blake Bortles enters the building, Love is the only QB on the roster who’s not on the COVID-19 list and/or currently trying to get cured by coaxing a wizard into rubbing a camel bezoar onto his T-zone Chakra. 

That’s put Green Bay at +8.5 underdogs, according to MaximBet, and while Rodgers is out, the rest of the team should be OK. Love has been there a while and looked perfectly capable in the preseason. Plus the Chiefs have surrendered plenty of points to perfectly capable quarterbacks all season.

I’m not sure Green Bay can win, but the Chiefs have covered just two spreads this season and barely hung on to beat the New York Giants last week.

Take the Packers at +8.5.

Drop $10 On A Four-Team Parlay

Alright, so this is what you’re gonna do: Stand there like a man until Eacker is in front of you and when the times comes, plop down a Hamilton on a nice little four-game parlay.

Since we already like the Packers’ chances, we’re taking that moneyline (+275) and I’m sticking it with the Atlanta Falcons (+195), New York Giants (+125) and Cleveland Browns (+115).

The Falcons are a touchdown dog to a Saints team starting either Taysom Hill, who hasn’t been on the field in a while, or Trevor Siemian, whose name I always have to look up to spell correctly. 

The Giants nearly knocked off the Chiefs last week and face a Las Vegas Raiders team making a cross-country trip after suffering another season-destroying distraction that cost them their 2020 first round pick

Cleveland is fighting for its life right now, and Cincinnati finds a way to play down to opponents to the point where they’ve lost to both the Bears and Jets this season. 

A $10 parlay bet win on these four teams pays $535.

Adam Greene is @TheFirstMan on Twitter.

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