When It Comes to Cell Phones, There’s a Maxim Model For That

If your mobile was a woman, what kind of woman would she be? Maxim investigates.

Just like Maxim’s cover girls, all mobile phones nowadays are pretty damn sexy. But what sets each one apart? We’ve paired some of the latest cellies with some of our favorite ladies, to make your new phone decision easier (and much more fun to look at).

iPhone 5C

Prominent Features: Plastic, ceramic-like body offered in a variety of different color options, Siri virtual assistant.

Cover Model Equivalent: Jennifer Love Hewitt. JLH is a classic, and the lady who’s graced our cover more than anyone. When you stay hot for so many years, you gotta be able to keep up with the times and reinvent your look.

iPhone 5S

Prominent Features: Fingerprint scanner, pumped up camera system with panorama and slo-mo, retooled guts for extra horsepower.

Cover Model Equivalent:Elisha Cuthbert. Like Cuthbert (or at least her character on 24, Kim Bauer), the iPhone 5S is entirely too good-looking to waste time at a government agency like CTU. Also like Cuthbert, the 5S does an admirable job when thrown into intense situations where speed is required and failure is not an option. And, arguably, both are better when they’re covered in your fingerprints.

Samsung Galaxy S4

Prominent Features: Facial recognition, air gestures, WatchON TV controls.

Cover Model Equivalent: Heather Graham. Samsung calls the S4 a life companion. We fell in love with Heather back during Boogie Nights. We stuck with her through Austin Powers, Arrested Development, the ill-fated Emily’s Reasons Why Not; then there was The Hangover, and The Hangover 3. We feel like Heather is our life companion. At least that’s what we tell our Mom when she asks why we’re still not married.

Samsung Galaxy Note 3

Prominent Features: Oversized touchscreen, included stylus tucked in body, Galaxy Gear compatibility.

Cover Model Equivalent: J Woww. The bustiest of the Jersey Shore bunch has certainly raised our stylus on more than one occasion. Crazy go-alongs here seal the deal. Galaxy Gear watch, Snooki…what’s the diff?

LG Optimus G Pro

Prominent Features: Full HD Screen, lower price than other options in category, name that closely resembles that of a famous Autobot.

Cover Model Equivalent: Rosie Huntington-Whitely. Optimus Pro, Optimus Prime. Can’t be a coincidence. Rosie’s stint in the Transformers franchise made us forget all about the other options out there. Megan Fox who?


Prominent Features: Touchscreen, 2.26 ghz quad core processor, 13MP camera.

Cover Model Equivalent: Avril Lavigne. No “hidden rear-button” jokes here, but we will say we were as pleasantly surprised by this hidden feature as we were when Avril ditched her leather jacket for us. Like the G2, Avril is a small package that packs a punch.

BlackBerry Q1

Prominent Features: BBM, physical keyboard, sleek body design.

Cover Model Equivalent: Bar Refaeli. The BlackBerry is all business, and Bar is all business. Mainly because her business is looking super-hot in sexy clothes.


Prominent Features: Google’s first phone, rugged, customizable body, fully voice-activated.

Cover Model Equivalent: Milla Jovovich. We’re into Google’s hardware almost as much as we’re into Milla, who stars in our Dazed and Confused daydreams and makes our Resident Evil nightmares much sexier. The streamlined but still tough MotoX, just like Milla, would be a good bet for withstanding an outbreak of infected face-eaters.

Nokia Lumia 1020

Prominent Features: Enormous 41 megapixel camera, ultra-simple casing, bright color options.

Cover Model Equivalent: Malin Akerman. The colorful Akerman would match nicely with any of Nokia’s signature yellow phones. And you know what they say about girls with big eyes; they also carry phones with big lenses. Zing! OK, nobody actually says that, but maybe they’ll start after they see this. 

Kyocera Hydro ELITE

Prominent Features: Waterproof (fully submersible in up to one meter for up to 30 minutes).

Cover Model Equivalent: Jordana Brewster. This cover girl looks so damn stunning in water, this one was a no-brainer.


Prominent Features: Integrated Beats speakers, Blinkfeed content streaming.

Cover Model Equivalent: Katy Perry. HTC One touts itself as having a “Slim Body, Fat Sound.” Katy fits that bill nicely with her Grammy-nominated pipes. She’s also managed to infiltrate pop culture beyond music with cameos in TV shows and a memorable performance hosting SNL. Plus, we could Blinkfeed at Katy all day.

Almost every device on this list has one fire-breathing feature in common: they are powered by Qualcomm Snapdragon Processors. Snapdragon processors make these devices lightning fast, improve their connectivity, feature jaw-dropping graphics, and add hours of battery life. And in this age of evil Hobbit-killing dragons, isn’t it nice to hear about a helpful one that simply likes to snap its fingers?

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The 6 Most Molested Statues in the World

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