When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, you know exactly what to do to get your lady off, which is a great thing. You have that one specific tried-and-true move that gives her the big O each and every time. Good for you.
However, even the most passionate couples eventually need some novelty in the bedroom, or else your sex life is going to be really, really monotonous and boring, says Dr. Kristen Mark, a sex researcher at the University of Kentucky.
And when she’s bored of having sex with you, she’s going to cheat. And vice versa.
But what can you do to spice things up? Sex toys? Bondage? A threesome?? All good ideas, but you need to bring up these topics gently, because if you randomly bust out some nipple clamps and a ball gag during foreplay, or bring her best friend into the bedroom without warning, she's probably not going to appreciate the gesture, even though you mean well.
That said, you need to talk about what you really want in bed, but sadly, most couples simply don’t talk about their secret desires, Mark says.
“Even when you’ve been with someone for years, talking about sex can be scary because you’re exposing a really vulnerable part of yourself,” she explains. “Especially if you’re introducing something new that you want to try.”
Luckily, Mark has a foolproof way to talk about your dirtiest, kinkiest desires with your lovely lady, and even find out what naughty thoughts she’s thinking of, without freaking her out. It involves lying, but don’t worry. It’s a harmless lie. She’ll never know.
All you need to do is tell her you had a sex dream last night that you two were “trying whatever sex act is on your naughty to-do list.”
What makes this idea brilliant is the fact that you can act on it if she seems interested, and be like, “You like that? We should try it tonight,” or, if she stares at you blankly when you say you “dreamt” that you tried grapefruiting and it felt fucking fantastic to get off from a citrus fruit, you can just laugh it off and say something like: “Haha, yeah…that’s weird. Too kinky for my taste. Missionary it is. Again.”
“It makes it easy to segue into saying, ‘Well, why don’t we try it?’”
Moreover, once you start talking about trying new things in the sack, she’s more likely to tell you her secret kinks and fetishes.
In conclusion, not all lies are bad lies. This is just a teeny tiny white lie to get the ball rolling, because research confirms that couples who openly communicate and tell each other exactly what they want are not only happier together, but a lot better at sex.
H/T: Men's Health