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Simple, stylish, and functional EDC.
Beard not included.
Don't get caught tallywhackin'
And there's nothing mini about what it can do.
(Or charge your phone.)
The future of warfare gets a little creepy.
It sees heat signatures up to 500 feet away.
It's a bike Sir Mix-A-Lot would love: a wide chest, tiny waist, and big, fat ass.
She must, she must, she must increase her bust.
The star-spangled Harley-Davidson from the daredevil's "Viva Knievel!" movie lists for $200,000.
Tune in without tuning out.
You know, aside from freedom, liberty, peace and all that.
A handy (non-explosive) life saver.